Stripper poles and other forms of exercise...

Someone I know who will remain nameless...wait, everyone on my blog is nameless. Anyway, this someone told me they wanted to get a stripper pole for the intense workout. This person said she has seen how effective of a workout it is. Apparently you can watch videos on YouTube demonstrating some workouts. She was saying how these girls have killer thighs. Well okay.




"And where does she think she is going to put a stripper pole?" I asked my husband. "Can you see her calling a handyman and saying 'I need this pole installed...' or how would you explain it if someone saw it?"



"Well I guess she could take it down when people come over," was his response. Huh, take it down? Has he never seen a stripper pole? Yes, it's best he play dumb on this one.



Anyway I am teasing her relentlessly about this. She says I will be jealous when she has rock hard legs and abs. I say her husband is not going to let her use it strictly for exercise. But we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted. Also I can't wait to see what scurvy hits this post gets from google.

Awww!

A real Valentine's present!!

Valentine's Day

I always hated Valentine's Day. In elementary school it was just embarrassing to have to give all those stinky boys Valentines in their glittery, paper heart doily shoeboxes. (Odd, no? I turned out to be a scrapbooker who loves to make cards.) Never cared for those conversation heart candies either...what flavor are they anyway?


In high school, well, I only had one boyfriend my junior year. AND he dumped me a little before this blissful holiday. I dated very little in college, never around Valentine's. During the police academy I had my first serious boyfriend. He, too, dumped me before Valentine's Day.

Then I met D. I kept warning him. "It's getting close to Valentine's Day, if you want to dump me now's the time." He just laughed it off. He even called and got reservations at a restaurant for our Valentine's dinner. Hmmm, would I actually have an actual Valentine??

Yep and the rest is history. Never needed to worry about the curse of Valentine's Day again. Although I'm still not into it. You know unless a certain set of grandparents want to give us a vacation for the evening. I'm just saying.

Therapy Thursday on Friday

Let me say that I started out doing Therapy Thursday because I thought I would be struggling to find something to blog about and I figured I could always find something to gripe about. Well, it seems I am a bigger motor mouth than I thought. I find myself thinking of things to blog about all the time. (It is funny because sometimes D will say, "I feel a blog post coming on," when we are talking about something or see something.) And sometimes I completely forget to do a special Therapy Thursday gripe. So I've decided to forgo a post every week under the headline Therapy Thursday, unless of course, I need to gripe. And you know that now that I've made such decision, I will find something to complain about every week on schedule.

In case you are pining for a gripe this week, I hate shopping for bras. There. I don't think I need to exSTRAPolate on that. Ha, get it?

The hills are alive with the sound of music...

First I have to say a bit about my last post. I re-read it and it completely sounds like sour grapes. That's not what I intended. The ones who were chosen for the design team really did deserve it and it justs serves as incentive for me to work harder to be a better card-maker.


Okay, onto the title of this post. When I was a little girl, I would spend alot of time with my Memaw. She read to me all the time, much of it from the bible. She also sang songs all the time; while we baked bread or strawberry shortcake, while we did dishes, when we were out on the glider swing in her back yard. She also introduced me to what I consider a perfect movie for a little girl (okay and a big girl like me)...The Sound Of Music.

A few days ago Little d was on her way to the bath and she said she had seen something on TV that scared her. She wouldn't tell me what it was, just that she couldn't get it out of her head. Well I used the ol' Julie Andrews "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" story and we sang along to a YouTube clip I found. It was great. She said she wanted to see the whole movie. So the next time I went out I found the DVD. $13.99. I think it was a bargain.

The other day we sat down to watch it. Okay, now my four year old is used to quick 30 minute comedies and cartoons AKA Hannah Montana, The Suite Life, and Dora the Explorer. I was not sure she was going to sit through Rogers and Hammersteins' musical event to wait for the "Favorite Things" song she so desperately wanted to see.

When the first few minutes were a medley of the score and pictures of mountains, I was even more uncertain..."Mom where are the kids? When is the lady gonna sing? Where do they live? Is that her house?" She peppered me with questions. She recognized the bit of "My Favorite Things" in the medley and then I explained to her what a medley was. Finally I said "Just watch and see..." She settled in and watched nearly the whole thing. And we both have been humming the tunes ever since.

Another musical we are very into around here...Momma Mia. We've watched it countless times and I catch Little d singing "see that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen..." It's hilarious. Move over Hannah Montana, there's a new sound in town and it's old school!!

You Rock!!

All right. I didn't make the Design Team. Whah. Oh well, I shouldn't have saved making those cards until the last minute. My fault. It was a shot in the dark anyway. (And besides, they probably took one look at all the bitching and political ranting I do and steered really clear of this blog for their happy go lucky mouse stamps.) I'm not being bitter though, because the winning entries were extremely talented ladies. And besides, I am still having fun creating my own stuff!

Like this card for example. I used the CTMH sets You Rock and Key to My Heart. The patterned paper is some I've had in my stash forever from daisyd. I really really distressed the edges of the striped paper with our edge distressor though I'm not sure it shows in the picture. This card is a little different dimensions for me. It's 4x7.

Here's the inside. I white embossed the sentiment and heart/flourish.Thanks for reading!

Say Cheese!!

Here's a couple of cards we (Little d and I) made today. She worked alongside me while I was playing with yet another House Mouse stamp. I made this card in honor of the fact that I ordered this today!! Check it out. I didn't have to order any lenses because I already have several that will fit from my old SLR. Sniff sniff. I miss the old film days. Nah, not that much. What I miss about it I think this new camera will solve.

Anyway onto the cards. The whole white area here is raised on foam tape. I cut the flowers from the background paper and mounted those with a white brad.



This is Little d's card. It was made from a rejected Christmas card and various castoffs of my desk. She colored the ballerina mouse with her own Crayola markers and I think she did a marvelous job recycling my scraps!! I have fun working with her. It was so cute, when I turned to get my camera to take a picture, she placed her card next to mine. So of course I had to take pictures of it for my blog!


Have a great day all!

I have the nose of a bloodhound...

I have a long history of smelling stuff other people don't smell. Especially my husband. You can imagine how much I enjoy the heightened sense of smell that pregnancy brings. Here's a little background.

Before we had kids, in fact I was probably pregnant at the time, I woke up one night and swore I smelled smoke. I woke my husband up to get him to smell it. He could smell nothing. I kept insisting it was smoke and we searched the house but could not find the source. I could not sleep with the smell, it was making me feel queasy...probably from being pregnant. Anyway I made him take me to my brother's house in the middle of the night to sleep on his couch. Since my brother was out of town, I made my husband stay with me. He was royally pissed. He thought it was a figment of my imagination AND he was too tired to drive across town.

The next day the A/C was out at our house. Turns out some circuit had burned a hole through something in the unit. Hmmm. Not my imagination, exhibit A.

Moving on a few years later. There was a funk in our house. I of course smelled it before anyone else. I tried taking out the trash, searching the laundry. Couldn't find the source. When it got really bad, I enlisted the help of my dad, whose nose is only slightly better than my husband's. I thought the smell was either coming from our half bath dowstairs next to the garage, or from the actual garage. It was a loooong weekend of me trying to hunt down the smell. My husband and father were pretty convinced it was some kind of sewer smell coming from the vent in the bathroom sink. They were literally minutes from busting a hole in the bathroom wall when I began snooping again in the garage. I found the culprit. My husband had put some grass runners in a bucket of water with the intention of taking them out to the land to plant. They were completely fermented and gross. AND stinky. My nose was right again, Exhibit B.

LAST NIGHT. I wake up with the baby at about 6am. As I am trying to get her back to sleep, I notice a chemical smell. Hmmm. I am so tired I can't imagine what it is. I sniff her, I sniff me. Just for giggles I sniff her again, this time in the diaper region. No, she has not pooped paint thinner. Hmm. I began to search. Our bathroom, bedroom and the upstairs hall are stonger than the rest of the upstairs. I wake up my poor mom who is sleeping in the guest room. I ask her to see if she smells something. Yes she does. It gets stronger downstairs and it is overpowering in the garage. I open the front door to see if it is coming in from outside. No, fresh air out there. I call my husband who is minutes from home. I tell him that there is a strong odor of gasoline in the house. He has no idea what it could be. He suggests maybe a gas truck unloaded during the night at a station upwind of the house. Uhhg here we go again me versus him. When will he accept that I know something about SMELLS!!? I ask him if maybe he shouldn't open the garage door because of the fumes. Nah, it will be alright he says. I move the kids downstairs and open some windows. He says he smells it in the garage. Really? Cause it could overpower a moose out there! Anyway, he just can't imagine what it could be. I ask him what in the garage has gas in it. Answer: 5 (five) gas cans, a leaf blower, a weedeater, and a generator. Oh and a pump for the water well (fiasco). {I have decided to add fiasco to the end of water well from now on.}

Well I wonder could one of those NINE things containing gas be putting off the smell. No he says he checked and none of them are leaking. Well, I ask him to move them outside. Please. Just in case, and then maybe we can air out the garage. He does so, bless his heart, grudgingly.

He comes in when his is done and says it turns out the gas cut off valve was leaking gas onto the generator. The nose knows again. Exhibit C!!

I was gracious enough not to say I told you so. To him.

Now I have to say my husband is nice enough to give into most of my whims, even when they are ridiculous. And boy do I have some ridiculous whims. (Which probably explains the look he gave me when I asked him to move all the gas containers outside.) But I won't go into that here. If my husband wants to then he can get his own blog. ;)

Relax Card

Well I had a little time to play with my new House Mouse stamps today. I used Liquid Applique for the bubbles in the tub with this cute little bunny.

Here's a close up. I was trying to show the dimension of the Liquid Applique but our camera doesn't do close up very well. I am trying to talk myself into a Canon Digital SLR. Which shouldn't be too hard!Uuuugghhh and for some reason the little trick my brother told me about making the pictures bigger isn't working! Well I guess I'll call him again to see if he can figure out what I'm doing wrong.

A Million Thanks to My Brother!

I was lamenting the fact that the pictures I post on here are only thumbnails. When you click on them...nothing. Other blogs I visit had this feature where when you click on the photo it would open a larger version in a new window. But not mine. Poor, poor me.


Wait a minute...my brother, H, is a computer guy (an actual official has a computer degree guy) and he's only a phone call away!! I called him and in about ten minutes he figured out how to do it. Unfortunately I think it can only be done on pictures when you originally upload them, so I guess I can't re-do the ones already posted. But from now on...


So I have to give a shout out to my wonderful bro for solving this and all my other puter problems. Thanks baby brodur!!


***I also wanted to add thanks to those comments for my gripe yesterday. Things turned out well. And really things are so much better now than they were about 8 years ago!***

Therapy Thursday

Well, today my gripe is IBS. I hate having this. I know-newsflash-who likes it? But today it's especially annoying. I have a workshop at least 25 minutes away from home. So with that comes the planning-when do I eat-what to eat-dilemma. And of course I had to start planning that yesterday. Nope, can't eat that, have something to do tomorrow.

I have to time eating too. I eat when I get up. (Extra early to allow for the IBS crap) heheheh no pun intended. Then I have to eat before I leave. But not to close to leaving to allow for the IBS crap. Then while I'm there, I can't eat. So there's no on-the-road-emergencies. We all know how those go. Well maybe you don't, but I do!

Then I am starving when I get home. And with IBS when you don't eat for a while and then finally do eat. Look out, stomach cramps! Oh what fun.

I knew I was in for good times when my gastrointerologist said "Even drinking water can set off an attack." Oh how we all did laugh.

Okay if you are still ready this nasty entry, sorry. But that is my gripe for the day. It probably warrants a longer discussion of the intricacies, but who wants to hear that, raise your hand? Didn't think so.

Design Team Tryouts!

Recently a blog I read posted a call for Design Team members. To tryout for the team, you must post an entry on your blog with three pictures of your best cards. The DT is for House-Mouse stamps. (If you've never heard of those...OMG you need to check them out, they are so sweet you'll get a cavity.) Here's a page of the stamps.



OK. So I admit I only had two of these stamps in possession. I mean with becoming a CTMH consultant last year, I rarely had time to work on other projects much less buy other stamps. BUT yesterday I went shopping and picked up seven new stamps. I wanted all my entries to have the House Mouse stamps. The problem was choosing only seven. Another requirement is stating why you want to be on the Design Team. So, without further ado...


OFFICIAL ENTRY STARTS HERE:


I won't lie, I think it would be ridiculously cool to be on a DT. You know? Fighting off paparazzi when I go to the grocery store. All kidding aside--I've never been on a DT. I have experience creating monthly workshops for my Close To My Heart customers. Gulp, I think I'm up for the challenge.



I love that the theme of most House Mouse stamps has such versatility. While I enjoy scrapbooking, most of my time is spent making cards. I enjoy using and mixing patterned paper. Matching colors is very important too me. For me, most of the time spent designing something involves holding paper, ink, and embellishments under different lights to make absolutely sure the colors match! I also like to color my images with pencils for a softer effect. And I don't even own any Copics. So if that sounds like a style you would like, I'd love to be considered!









Thanks for your consideration!!

Single Mom for a while...

D works as a chemical process operator. At the site he is also on the fire/rescue squad. And tomorrow he has to go for training over two hours away and spend the night. :(

I hate when this training comes around twice a year. I am thankful that he well trained should the need arise, and of course I am thankful for the overtime pay. AND I am thankful he has a job...but whah I miss him when he's gone.

And should any psychos read this and think single woman at home alone...
(A) I am a former cop and can go apeshit on you hand to hand.
(B) We have guns. I know how to use those too.
(C) We pay over $35 a month for ADT to monitor our house. And they work. I know.
(D) We have nosy neighbors.

ANYWAY the point is I miss him when he's gone!!

CTMH: February Workshop

This month I thought I wouldn't be able to have a workshop due to (shudder) gum surgery, but that got postponed. So, I am doing two 12x12 layouts, a "Do not disturb" door hanger and a wine glass lantern. I haven't even started with the lantern yet, so I'll post that when I get it done.

Here are the layouts. I intentionally left a lot of open room for pictures this time.

The first page says Game Night and the second has the quote "know when to fold 'em."

Here's the door hanger. I may add some rhinestones to the flourish...still deciding.

The heart is embossed with silver. The Do Not Disturb is embossed with white. Even though a couple of the ladies asked if we would be making Valentine's cards, I'll just tell them that I think their Valentines will appreciate the door hanger better...wink wink!

The History of Me and the Internet...

I have to write this post first because I wanted to write a post about Facebook, but I realized it would be soooo long I would need to break it into two posts and blah buh di blah blah...

In the beginning there was dial up. And it was void and without life. (ps "God, that was supposed to be funny, not disrespectful") I had an internet provider and one email address. Which I used occasionally. We got high(er) speed internet and a new email address. Me-the one who hates change-always balked when we changed providers and I would have to get a new address and email everyone the change et cetera. At some point we got two email addresses--Hotmail accounts to add to our IP emails. With Hotmail came MSN Messenger. Oh the fun.

My brother, mom and I have this succinct form of shorthand and inside joking that goes on with MSN and we type FAST. Sometimes we are laughing so hard we can't type. So then we just call each other--cuz we are goofballs. (You can relate right Aunt B?) Plus now you can send winks and nudges and HIDE when you are online or put that you are busy. (Good I guess for people who want to goof off at work.)

I heart my hotmail account. We have changed IPs about three times, in the last seven years. But now I use my hotmail for all my online junk so I don't have to change info every single time we change providers.



Then last November I jumped off into blogging. I did it mostly for fun. A little to spread the word about my Close To My Heart 'business'. A little to keep a journal of events for scrapbooking. A little to become rich and famous. HA that last one was a total lie! Anyway, I have been having so much fun blogging. Who knew?

{On a side note...My blog gets the most hits for the entry I did entitled "Strawberry Cake" and most of those hits are from Malaysia. The second most hits are on the entry "An Alternative to Running Away From Home..." I always wonder if some poor sad teenager is googling trying to find a solution to becoming a runaway and then hits my post. It makes me feel sad. Also, recently I've been getting hits on "I am in love with a sneaky man" Hmmmm.}

But now, NOW, my mother has made me join Facebook, or as she calls it Bookface. And the internet has become a source of high maintenance and stress. Am I poking someone or superpoking? How do I tag in a note? Do I even know that person from High School? What's considered rude? What if I don't acknowledge a friend in a certain time? Will they think I am avoiding them or will they know I am just busy? Will people get that I am trying to be humorous? Or will they think I am a complete ass? AHHHHHH!! My BP is up just thinking about it! Why do I have to be such a people pleaser?!?

Oh and what's better? I just found out my sister in law (not the sweet one I always talk about, the other one who hates me) is on Facebook. And I put this webpage in my profile. But I guess if she finds me and wants to be my "friend" I can always delete this link off my page. SEE?!! It's too bleeping complicated!!

Okay I decided to type it all in one post. Sorry for the novel, and Have a Nice Day! Wink! Nudge! (head hanging shamefully)...poke.