Just some random thoughts involving money, teeth, and politics.

Oh and blogging.

Money: Tonight on the phone with D (he's at work) we tracked new house expenditures. Looks like the overall cost of the home will fall below budget. We are on track and that makes me vastly relieved. Please please please no surprises!

Teeth: I'm sure I've posted before about my horrible teeth. But I'm too lazy to look up the post and reference it. So just take my word for it. My teeth are horrible, and I floss daily. Yesterday I had my teeth cleaned and checked because one of them, here's a shocker, is getting sensitive and randomly causing pain. Today I visited the endowhatchamadinger and drumroll...I need another root canal. Seriously, why do I bother with the good teeth hygiene? I mean other than stopping bad breath. I brush twice (sometimes more) and floss every day. Even now in my very sleep deprived state when all I want to do is fall into bed and hibernate at the end of the day, I manage to floss at least six times a week. Blech.

Politics: I'm no fan of Obama, but who gives a poop if he visits the oil spill. Honestly? I don't know why conservatives are making a huge deal out of it. Of all the crap he's pulled and is pulling, this is the least of our concerns. In fact, didn't he respond faster to the oil spill than to the shooting at Fort Hood?

Blogging: I don't have time to visit my favorite blogs anymore. If I give the girls a bath (like now) I take a few minutes to peek at some. But of the hundreds on my list, I only check about 15 on an every other day or so basis anymore. Boo. Hiss. But life is just to full of other stuff right now. I foresee only more stuff in the future. I am trying my hardest to keep up this blog, because more than anything I want it for the kids future reference to how whack-job their mom really was...as if they need this thing for proof of that. ;)

Bonus topic-Scrapbooking: Not gonna happen anytime soon. Not even sure about Little md's birth announcements. I'm even thinking of packing it all up and just putting it in storage until the move. And it's shocking how okay I am with that.

Guess I should go get the littles out of the tub before the little man wakes up to feed again. Take care blog-land...

Paint!

Today the painters started on painting the exterior. I'm so excited!! Can't wait to see the trim finished and the red front door! Here's some pictures...

Front of house:

Side of house:

Back of house:

And yes, that's Little d in some of the shots. Did I mention that I registered her for kindergarten yesterday? Trauma! I know she will love it. At least, I hope she does. But me, I don't know how I'll survive. The good news is her school is very small. I think (as of now) she'll have 13 in her class. They have 26 kids registered so far and they divide the kids between two classrooms. I am loving that she will be in such a small class!

Ahh. Growing pains for me!

supa supa stars

We've been partying like rock stars around here. Staying up all night--eating chocolate all day. Fast times--

Even Little md gets in on it. As seen here, he is laughing (ok, smiling) at his sisters dancing antics.

Party on people--party on.

PS the painters are working on the exterior of the house this week...hope to have pictures to share soon!

Day to day

Turns out blogging has taken a back seat...to life.


The rash mercifully has left and some of my sanity has returned. It started leaving around week three of Little md's life. He, by the way, is a month old today. Time has been flying this last week.


The girls are doing well. Although there have been some sibling like growing pains. And testing of the limits. And I fully admit to having trouble enforcing limits, what with a small(ish) gremlin attached to one boob. But I hope that settles down in a short period of time.

Little md is growing like a weed. I can't get over how quickly he got all chubby on me. He's outgrown one size of clothes and two sizes of diapers. Oh and guess what? I have only been peed on three times. Not to bad for a month. His umbilical cord finally fell off at three weeks. Sheesh--talk about overstaying your welcome mister cord.

Okay--life calls--more later....

Little Miss Perfect

Yesterday I had the distinct honor of meeting my brother's new baby girl. She arrived a little after noon on her mother's birthday. What a lovely way to celebrate life--with a brand new one.

Her nickname here will be little miss perfect, because indeed she is absolutely perfect and beautiful in every way, from her teeny tiny eyelashes to her sweet pouty lips.

It is nine kinds of awesome to see my brother being a dad. And I couldn't be more happy for him and my sister in law. It is amazing to watch the sparkle in their eyes as they describe her and her birth...and the miracle that is becoming a parent. It is of course something you can't fully realize until you live through it yourself.

And I am so thrilled they are part of the club. Welcome to parenthood H and L! It's so good to have you as new members!

Just scratching along...

The rash is still going strong. I am now pretty...pretty ugly. HA! And pretty sleep deprived. Little md is a little high maintenance, but it won't last forever. Been there done that before.

I do wish we were already in our new house. Somehow I feel like that would just make things so much easier. Oh well--before too long. In fact we are making progress...

Here's the latest pictures of the siding. D's dad has really been helping him try to get it done.

And today the electrician started! Yeah! After he's done (hopefully this week) we can get the spray insulation and the concrete floors done. And then the drywall--that's getting more and more houselike!!

And besides that...I have reason to believe I will keep my sanity despite the insane asinine itching. Turns out Little md takes a bottle of expressed milk like a champ. {I had to nurse Little m for an entire year before she could be weaned.} I was so worried that he would follow suit. But sigh of relief, he takes a bottle!

Blessed be!

The Recovery

First...God, he's beautiful. I know you all would love to just eat him up, but too bad, he's all mine!



If there is one thing I've learned about childbirth, it's to expect the unexpected.

For my first delivery, I thought I had it pretty easy...right up until the epidural wore off. And then I was a little like "What the hell!?!" I had tearing, cutting, and a cracked tailbone. My God I would cry--literally--if I had to toot! The nurses were giving me pain meds-um the really good stuff that makes your ears ring a little-every three hours. Then there was the breastfeeding pain. And of all three Little d was the best-from-the-beginning-nurser I've had. But still, even with her perfect latch, I had two weeks of knee-shaking pain during nursing.

But I regrouped, learned some things, and prepared for the second delivery.

After Little m, I took my sitz baths regularly, and due to not near as much damage, I recovered very well. In fact the only post delivery pain reliever I had was one Motrin--and that was mostly for back pain that kept me awake. Stupid hospital beds. I also started using Lansinoh cream immediately with nursing...not waiting until soreness set in. So breastfeeding was much less painful as well.

So here I went into this delivery thinking...should be at least as easy as Little m's birth, right?

Wrong.

Even thought Little md is almost 2 pounds heavier than Little m was and even though I pushed four times as long, most of that recovery is pretty easy. Thanks be to God! But my muscles were exhausted. I couldn't understand why until D explained 'well it's like you did situps for an hour...' Well duh. That does make sense. I mean it didn't feel like situps since I had the epidural, but essentially that's what it was. So even though I was looking forward to not hobbling around like a weirdo...that's just what I did for another few days.

But here's where things got truly weird and unexpected. On Monday before Little md was born, I started itching...on the belly. And throughout the week it progressed until my stomach was bright red. Like a really bad sunburn. I thought it was just a normal itchy preggo belly--I've had that before with the girls, but usually not that bad.

And then Friday after delivery and Saturday I noticed it started to spread...to my legs and backside. Hmmm. I thought the rash on my legs was from heat. Everything I was sleeping on in the hospital was plastic. I asked Dr. S about my stomach before leaving the hospital and he said I could use hydrocortisone cream and take Zyrtec. But by Monday, the scratching was driving me to insanity...and this ridiculous rash was everywhere! Legs and arms! Everywhere! I could not stop scratching. It was worse than the head to toe poison ivy I had as a youngster.

I consulted Dr. Google and discovered the answer. PUPPP. Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. Makes great dinner table conversation. Google it yourself and get a load of the pictures. Umm-mmm good. If you're not brave enough to google it here's the rundown:

• usually starts in third trimester of first pregnancy and then doesn't occur again in following pregnancies.
• usually occurs in pregnancies with boys.
• starts in stretch mark area and spreads.
• usually resolves itself within a week of delivery.
• can be treated with oral steroids in severe cases.
• is "annoying" but doesn't cause any harm to mom or baby.

"Annoying". Are you kidding me? They could use this crap in the place of waterboarding for terrorists.! Seriously. I'll talk--I did it--I stole the Linburg baby--I was the second shooter on the grassy knoll! Just make it stop itching!!!

I finished my course of steroids yesterday. And I am. still. itching. In the worse case scenarios I've seen online, it can last for months postpartum. And I even saw one lady say that hers flares up every time she has her period. Okay. Will not focus on that possibility!

Here's some more tips I've learned. Heat makes it ten times worse. Not being able to hug my family really sucks. Really really bad.

Well that's the rundown of the recovery so far. Hopefully week two will look better. On a positive note:

Day eight...infatuation still going strong...

Eyes Open!

See--I told you he was perfect! (6 days old)

And the girls can get enough of him either!

Off to eat--again!

Family of Five (Little md's birth story)

As some of you know I was scheduled for induction on Friday April 23rd. I arrived at the hospital at 3am. I went up to Labor and Delivery pretty quickly and was checked into birthday suite #10. The room where we would welcome our Little md.



I was more nervous than ever. I just kept thinking 'we can't possibly be lucky three times in a row...what if something goes wrong this time?' I was hooked up to the baby heart rate monitor and the contraction monitor. Apparently I was have contractions and just not realizing how often I was having them. They weren't painful.

The nurse checked me (still 2cm) and started the pill in my cervix around 3:30. So then the contraction became more painful. Around 7:00, she said she wanted to check me again at 8:00 and was hoping Dr. S would come in by that time so he could break my water. Pause!

{With both of my previous deliveries I think one of the most painful things was the breaking of the water. I would--both times--end up shaking, crying and last time, begging them to stop. So this time I figured I got a little say in the matter...this being my third trip to the rodeo and all. After explaining myself, the nurse agreed. She didn't want to be running around frantically trying to get my epidural after he broke my water. She called the doc and got permission for me to get the epidural prior to his visit. Yeah!!}

A nurse anesthetist administered the epidural, and it was the least favorite of the three I've received. He was very slow, which is okay, I want him to get it right, but he also did things a little differently and I felt more pain during it. But at least I was numb, or getting there and the water breaking and subsequent cervix checks were not painful. Whew! Dr. S said I was four centimeters, and the baby was minus 1 station. Yeah he was coming down like he is supposed to!

A little later I felt the contraction on one side again. Actually that side never really did get numb, so even after rolling over, it was not getting numb, the nurse called in the candy man to add some more juice. He did and it worked this time. So well that I actually--between BP cuff intervals--got to doze and rest.

But then (sometime between 11:00 and 11:30 I think) I started feeling a sharp pain in the area I would think is my cervix. Hmmm. This is new and not so pleasant. I called the nurse in to say I was feeling pain and she (as they always do asked if I meant pressure) and I (as I always do) explained that this was different than the pressure of needing to push, this actually was a sharp pain. She checked me and said I was complete, but the baby for some unknown reason was back up very high. She thought it was due to my bladder being full, but that changed nothing, so she was puzzled and I was worried. Why would he move back up? Did this mean a c-section? Did this mean he was too big to fit?

She said she could get a boost to the epidural but it would mean longing time pushing. I told her that with Little m I was extremely numb and she still came in record time. I said "I'm okay with pushing longer" I was not okay with "pushing through the pain" which was the other option. She said..."I'm just not gonna tell him you're complete or he won't boost the epidural" Believe me her secret is safe with me. And you, right?

Well in the meantime, waiting for the candy man to come back, guess what rapidly began to wear off? That's right. What pain relief I had left. So now every minute or less, a mack truck would hit me somewhere in the middle and radiate through me as if my pelvis were trying to break free of my body.

I was gripping the bed rail and curled (as near as I could get) into the fetal position. I'm not entirely sure, but I am fairly certain there was some whimpering and shaking going on. At one point D tried to rub my arm and I strongly suggested 'don't touch me!'

So there I was. Me and the pain. And the worry about my baby. And the blur of people getting things ready around me. The baby nurse telling her student nurse charge that "here was the ambi bag for resuscitating the baby" should they need it. An EMT standing at the foot of the bed with her hair too black.

Candy man came back and I probably should have acknowledged him, but all I heard was "oh you're getting low" as he added the meds to my contraption. Probably a good thing I wasn't talking as I might have wanted to say rather sarcastically "really?"

Then my nurse asked me to roll over so we could start pushing.

"I can't."

"We'll wait until this contraction is over."

'No' I was thinking, 'I can't push in this much pain!' She made some comment that the epidural wasn't going to work at this point and I looked her dead in the eye and said "are you saying it's not going to work?" She said, 'well it may start working too late'. Nothing like that to motivate you. Ha. But I somehow rolled over to my back during the next contraction and the baby nurse was on one leg, while my nurse was on the other. And somehow--Thanks be to God--the pain started going away.

But the flip side of course is how very numb I was. And so the pushing began at 11:50. And progress was slow and I needed oxygen because just before I started pushing his heart rate dropped a bit. But then it went back up and stayed good. Occasionally I had to stop to catch my breath. The nurses were so awesome and so were my mom and husband who held my shoulders up with every push. Doc came in and decided to hang out in the hall for awhile until I got closer. So this made me feel better. Apparently he thought I was close enough that he didn't need to go back across the street to his office.

So I kept pushing and finally with a little position change of the legs I could tell it was getting close and so everyone took their place for this birth and I had to hold off a minute so Dr. S could get his face mask on. I pushed again and he said to stop--I think the head was out and Little md's cord was wrapped tightly around his neck.

But that was quickly taken care of and after a little push Dr. S said my favorite thing that he always says during delivery "okay you can stop now the rest is all me." I don't know why that is such a comfort to me. I guess just to know that the work is over and in a few seconds I'll get to see my baby for the first time.

There was a little whirlwind as he was born at 12:29 and a joke as Dr. S said what a cute girl and the nurses said "WHAT?" And he checked again and said Oh! because with the cord and everything he was too busy to check carefully.

Instead of handing him to me though, the nurses took him to the warmer and began working on him and it was then that it hit me 'he's not crying'. I kept waiting and watching and asking "is he okay" and they said he's moving all around. But I still didn't hear him cry, and they were suctioning him and working on him and I was griping D's hand and after an eternity (that was less than a minute)...



He cried.

And I cried. And I finally, finally got to hold him.





He's fine. His scores at birth were a little low at 7, since the cord was around his neck. But then after that he was fine and pink and healthy and beautiful. He's 8 pounds and 5 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. His head circumference is 14 inches.

We are a family of five now. The girls are more than a little in love with their brother.



I couldn't have asked for anything more. Well, maybe a little easier recovery, but I'll save that for another post.

He's here...

He's absolutely perfect.

He was my hardest delivery by far.

I'm trying my darndest to recover, so here's a quick picture...

Hopefully this week I'll get to his amazing birth story! My 8 lb, 5 oz baby boy!

Anyone have a cure for PUPP? Just started a steriod today--praying to God it works. I've never been so miserable.

It's 2am, I must be lonely....

Do you know that song? Oh well--

Just hopped (hahaha hop hahahaha) out of the shower and sitting here about to go to the hospital for the induction. Didn't sleep at all. The boy decided to do amazing acrobatic feats and keep me up. Probably won't update here until we get back home...

Say a little prayer for me....

You know that song, right?

No baby yet...thank you doc on call.

Tuesday night I started having contractions really late. About midnight. So around 3am they were getting a little stronger and I was a little nervous--never having starting labor on my own before. We made the decision to go to the hospital and get checked.

They put the monitors on me and yeah! I heard his cute little heartbeat. The contractions were not painful and coming from four to seven minutes. This was the most regular they had been thus far. But she checked me (painful) and found I was still only 2cm. Same as what my doc said on Monday.

SO she called the on call doc. And he decided to order a shot to stop my contractions. Yes. I don't know why. Apparently it won't stop your contractions if you are really in labor. The part that is irritating is knowing that my doc would have either monitored me for a little longer, or started me on something to get my contractions stronger (since he already offered to induce me on Tuesday.) But anyway, after the shot my contractions spaced out and after an hour she checked me again (painful) and discovered that there was no change.

SO they sent me home. And I've had little to no contractions since. So I guess I'll be going in for my regularly scheduled induction tomorrow. PS I am so freaking miserable. I have an ugly red rash on my belly and the itching has driving me to near insanity, my nose is chronically stuffed up, my muscles are aching like I've done too many situps. Oh and the place where she gave me that damn shot hurts like a bruise. Which means I don't even want D giving me a back rub because he might hit it. And my body temp is on the fritz. Either I am cold, or sweating. ??What is that all about??

On a lighter note, I appreciate the comments and well wishes. They do brighten my day. And I am truly excited to meet this little guy--and I know the memory of all this misery will fade with time. Which is why I am writing it down!! :)

Nervous Nellie

That's me. I just got back from the doc's office. First my BP was high, 148 over something. The nurse took me right back and had me lay on my left side for a minute or two and then took it again....100/50. So I'm good she said.

Turns out I'm about two centimeters dilated and starting to thin out. Hmm. Guess those two contractions I had in the middle of the night Saturday did something. At this rate I only need eight more to be done right? HAA! So after deliberating and what not I'm scheduled to be induced Friday, provided Little md doesn't make his appearance sooner.

I can't tell you how nervous I am. I have never before been dilated prior to being induced. And this is the third one. What if it happens really fast? What if my water actually breaks on it's own?? What if, what if, what if? I do have my hospital bag packed at least. And the baby's bag. But really the house is a disaster area. D cancelled his out of town training for the next two days based on the doc's recommendation, but he will still have to go to work. And that's at least forty five minutes away.

What if this scratchy irritated throat turns out to be more than a little allergy irritation? Deep breath. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Oh and what is with the itchy belly?? Seriously it's like a bad case of poison ivy. I know it was bad when I was preggo with Little d, and I had a bit of it with Little m, but this time--and just here lately--it's insane!

Enough complaining! He'll be here by the end of the week!! Now let's just hope he's not born on Earth day...

Sometimes it seems that bad, but it's not.

A rough week to say the least.

For starters, Grandma's death took me by surprise. I can't believe I've lost two grandparents in as many months. Her funeral on Friday was beautiful. They had to move it to a church in a neighboring town because the POC parish was too small. That was a little sad because that was the church she went to every Saturday. Her funeral mass was attended by 19 priests and officiated by the bishop. The firstborn grandchild (this included me) of each her 14 children carried a rose during the presentation of gifts.

There is something incredibly comforting in the ceremony of Mass. The chanting of the priests in Latin. The smell of incense. The sprinkling of Holy water. The bells ringing. I breathed it all in. I think one of the hardest parts is to watch the grief of my father. I've seen my father get tears in his eyes many times--almost always involving his grandkids. But only twice in my life have I seen him truly cry. Once at my grandfather's funeral and once at Grandma's. The other hardest part will come at the next holiday gathering that does not include Grandma.

We are plugging along with life--washing baby clothes, nursing bras, blankets. Tomorrow I have another doc appointment. Early this morning I shopped with D for things to pack in the hospital bag.

During the middle of last week I was having a truly horrible day. No sleep and a headache that lasted from the time I opened my eyes in the morning until the time I fell asleep that night. But once when I was taking some laundry out of the dryer, both girls came in to help. I realized that life is okay. Even when things seem that bad, they really aren't. The important life affirming things are still there.

Grandma Hawes

How do you sum up someones life in a blog post? You don't. So I'm not going to try. So I'll just say a few words.

She was a faithful devoted wife and a mom of 14. She leaves behind a legacy of love that spans generations. And she will be missed.

She passed away Sunday night--we received the call shortly after my last post. It was a shock. Yes, she just had major surgery at age 89, but she also was amazing the docs with her progress and was coming to the hometown hospital this week.

I am comforted to know that she will see my grandpa after being apart from him for about 30 years.