This Little Life

I miss my old life a little. Okay aLot. The days where my schedule was not determined by the school district.

I should preface this post by saying that I am not looking for a pity party. I just happen to have two minutes to myself so I thought I would blog. And since I haven't been able to visit any of my favorites in so long, I'll just type a little on mine. And what I have to blog about isn't really exciting. In fact it's a little depressing.

Speaking of depressed. I think I qualify. I mean like clinically. It started with Little d starting school. That was major upheaval for me. I honestly don't know how woman can go to work and send their children to daycare. I'm not criticizing anyone, I just physically could not do it. The beginning was rough for her, but she's adjusting so well. And now she has a crush on one of those dread boys she so desperately wanted to vanish just two weeks ago.

Where was I? Oh adjusting. Well, like I said, she's doing well. I'm doing better. I still have such a rough time not being around her and knowing what's going on. Like when she's says that this one little girl called her 'nasty'. Now I have to determine the context and help her deal with it without actually being present to know what happened. I am pretty sure that this little girl thinks Little d has a crush on this boy and because of that called her 'nasty'. Hopefully in the "That's So Raven" sense. 'Just ignore her' and 'play with your other friends' was my advice when I really want to tell her to tell the little low class snot to drop dead. No not drop dead. But maybe trip...

We'll see what comes of it.

So let's set aside the school stress and discuss other things. Like snot.

Since Little d has started school, she has had four consecutive colds that have been passed to Little m. Two of which were also passed to me and D. Not sure what Little md caught. So far anything has been super mild for him--maybe due to me breastfeeding? Anyway. My children aren't sick often at all and when they get colds it seems that they also tend towards getting upset tummies. So (keep reading I dare you) I have slept most nights in one or the other's bed or on the couch or on the floor in the living room. I think grand total I have slept in my bed four times since Little d started school August 23rd. Most nights I also spend listening for coughing, vomiting or crying (especially Little m-she seems to have gotten the worst of them all).

SO worrying about kiddos and no sleep equals stress.

Now moving on to the other major stress factor right now. House. Rather, houses. We still have not cleaned out the other house and put in on the market. Which I know is just as crazy as me not sleeping in my own bed for two months. When would we have the time? D has been working non stop. We have to afford the two houses, right? And the sad part for me is that I didn't get that big moment of packing up stuff, saying goodbye to the home I brought the babies home to, and unloading the first boxes in the new house. We didn't have that 'first night in the new house' moment as a family. Instead, we snuck in praying we weren't discovered by the bank inspector with suitcases and stuff thrown together like we were running from a hurricane. And D was working nights so we didn't do it as a family. Are you depressed yet?

I guess the worst of it boils down to this doesn't feel like home. It's better than it was, but not as good as it should be. Little m still calls it 'the land'. And yesterday she cried because she wanted to go to the old house.

I'm also having a little mini-crisis of religion, but that's a whole other post. And it's not an I-don't-believe-in-God crisis. It's how much do I believe in raising my kids Catholic.

I've gotta wrap this up. So I'll leave on a bright note. I bought my first post-Little md jeans. In a size 14, but still. They weren't pregnancy jeans.

I told D I wanted things to return to normal and he said maybe this is the new normal. Well...the size 14 jeans better not be a part of the deal...

Rain rain go away...

Have I already used that for a title some time? I can't remember, but I can't seem to come up with something flashy for this post.

Here's a little uppie datie for the whole Baptism thing. I thought I would go ahead and have my youngest two baptized at the same time in the same church as Little Miss Perfect was going to be baptized--seeing as how I'm going to be her Godmother, and my sis-in-law is Little m's Godmother. So I went to Holy Family to fill out the paperwork. (I just went ahead and used the real church's name there you see what I did.) Anyway. The parish priest wanted to meet with me.

I'm going to give you the rundown of how that went...with just the highlights.

Him: You don't go to church often enough to have your children baptized here. If you can come back in four weeks and tell me that you are going to church then everything will be hunky-dory. And by the way you are meaningless as a Godmother.

Me: Thank you. (exit stage left)

Okay so he didn't say hunky-dory, but the rest is accurate. Yes he said "you are meaningless". What a tool.

I thought Baptism was to wash away original sin not to increase church enrollment, but what do I know. I have heard so many stories about this particular priest. Recently I found out that he told a member of his church that they didn't contribute enough money to be members. And they were surviving on one income. Hmmm.

Here's another jewel for you to chew on:

On Little d's birthday we were not really living here. (Remember?) SO we put off her party until the weekend we moved in. It was totally spur of the moment and my mother in law offered to make cupcakes. I thought that was soooo sweet. She asked Little d what kind she wanted and Little d said carrot and apple and chocolate. (Well what do you expect when you ask a 6 year old what kind of cake she wants...) So mil asks me if cream cheese icing is okay since Little d can't eat dairy with out getting a stomach ache. I reply that no, we should probably stick with regular white icing.

Guess what she frosted them in? Did she bother to tell me what she frosted them in before Little d ate one? No. Bitch. Sorry, but I have no use for people like that. Who does that to a child?

Back to the title of this post. It's been raining all the T-I-M-E tiiiiiii-iiimme!!!

Still Here

A quick note or ten.


School is going well for Little d. And sometimes I don't even cry on the ride home...


Breastfeeding is going well for Little md (he's even had a little formula now and then and done well on it.) My 17 pound four month old.

We are officially living in our new house. And as soon as the boxes are put away...or at least hidden...I'll post pictures.

Little m has entered and mastered the "why?" stage. And I have mastered the "I don't know" and the "because I said so" stage.

Our new internet connection (via ATT cell phone) is slower than slow. We're gonna have to amend that sometime. On the subject of technology...we have our satellite set up, aaaaand we signed up for texting. Seriously! How fun is that?!?

I think I juuuust see that light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh, and I'm a room mom! Cool, right?

Birthday in a construction zone

Despite being days away from a completed house, we still have paper taped down in the hall, broken down boxes from appliances, step ladders, hammers, levels and the ever useful painter's tape scattered about.

Amid all this Little d celebrated her sixth birthday today. Labor day--just like six years ago--and she declared it the best birthday ever. God Bless the resilience of children. Her breakfast was a canned cinnamon roll with a "6" candle in it. Unlit, because there are no matches or lighters here. Shhh, I used the wall oven to cook the rolls. She pretended to blow it out, while I took pictures. A generic "Happy Birthday" banner was the backdrop---taped up with blue painter's tape.

She opened her gifts of a fashion template notebook, four barbie dresses, lip gloss and a diary. She liked them all and played with the fashion notebook and diary most of the day.

It's so hard to realize that she is already six years old. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital a week ago? Wasn't she just learning to talk yesterday? I miss those days sometimes, but I am so enjoying the young lady she is becoming. I am also enjoying how much she dislikes those "weird" boys in her class. I know that won't last either...

The Secret Life

You probably think I've fallen off the earth. And I would hesitate to disagree. Little d starting school is just part of the roller coaster. We have 'moved' into the new house. But on the sly. Technically we can't live here until the final bank inspection, so we are really "living" in the travel trailer parked in the drive way. When the inspector came out last week for the next to last draw, I just knew that one of the kids (Little m to be exact) was going to spill the beans. But it went off without a hitch.

Hopefully the paperwork will be signed next Friday and then we can officially move in. Living out of boxes and sleeping on air matresses sucks on so many levels. Especially trying to make school lunches and get kids bathed and to bed...

We can't have a TV in here, so the satellite was set up for the trailer, but that just means we haven't watched TV in two weeks. And we didn't have any internet for about a week and a half. Talk about living in the stone ages. I didn't even know there was a hurricane!

You know what else?

I've lost six pounds.

I've never in my whole life been so tired. Never.

I washed a dress for Little d's picture day in a sink with Palmolive.

Sending her to school each day feels a lot like a death in the family.

I count the minutes until I can pick her up.

She's never seen me cry about it, I save my tears for the car ride home.

I worry about fitting in with the other kinder moms.

I fear the next time I sleep on a real matress I'll fall off.

My mother in law was here every day the first week and a half and yet I killed no one.

Me and my dad work really well together...and we crack each other up.

My husband and I have successfully built a house and not gotten a divorce.

I miss blogging.

The pits

I knew the day would come when I would have to send Little d to school. And I even anticipated how rough it would be. I told D a couple of years ago that he needed to take the day off just to be there for me when I collapsed in tears after dropping her off.

Today we had the little meet and greet at her school. It's a small little country school with an awesome reputation. I instantly felt the warmth from her teacher, Mrs. H. And there is another mother there that I see a potential bond with. Though I could only nod and smile when she spoke to me, so close was I to tears.

I have been seconds from tears for the last two days. Last night my brother called to say that if we needed to spend the night in his new house we could instead of staying in our travel trailer at the land. I couldn't even speak I was so choked up. We are hopefully less than two weeks from being able to move into our house, but I was so not wanting to be "camping" during Little d's first weeks of school.

Everything feels upsidedown right now. My house is a mess, my body is a mess, my hair is a mess, my state of mind is a mess. I have never been this disorganized in my whole life. I just wanted Little d to start school and have the transition be smooth as silk. But I don't see how that can be possible.

I should just focus on the positives. She is going to a great school. She is super excited about it. Her teacher seems like just the type of person that you want to be your kindergarten teacher. She even had a little goodie bag at each kid's spot.

But I still have this yucky feeling of dispair in the pit of my stomach. It's a mix of not being with her every second of the day combined with she's going out into the big bad world without me.

I'm praying she loves school so much she never cries not to go...because then I just may have to look into that whole homeschooling thing...

Paint Fumes

Yesterday the 'painter' was supposed to be done with all the cabinet work in the house. {We hired out for that. All the rest we are doing ourselves.} But when I looked at the doors, they aren't all done properly. On the dark cabinets, you can see primer through and on some of the bookcase shelves, there are streaks of dull paint--like the final coat was sprayed on unevenly. Ugh. Just what I need.

My dad and I finished the caulking today. Well except for two baseboards in the stair landing. They aren't nailed to the wall. Yeah, you read that right.

D is spraying the ceilings with the final coat. Maybe tomorrow, we can start the final coat on the walls and trim.

Meanwhile, I have a smashing headache. Either from being hot, not drinking enough water, or...paint fumes.

Whose idea was it to build this house again?

How it goes....

drive to land

work

drive home

pump

repeat.

School Shopping

Maybe I should just do little mini blog posts every night when I give the girls a bath?


This past week I managed to go school clothes shopping with Little d. I somehow managed to get home with several cute interchangeable outfits. Little d had blast. I was exhausted. Who knew it would be so tiring? I swear. I remember having so much fun shopping for school clothes with my mom. Now I'm wondering if she was that exhausted when we were done?

While we were shopping I was thinking (during the brief moments when I wasn't thinking about being so frumpy and out of touch) that these clothes were never gonna match up. But then when we got home and laid them all out, whatdya know? They were actually really cute and they were interchangeable. I still need to get her some more shirts and some plain denim shorts, but other than that it was a pretty successful trip.

Meanwhile. I'm having these panic attacks. Have I done a huge disservice to my daughter by not exposing her to more experiences? Will school be too much of a shock? Will she hate the fact that she has to wear shoes all day? I mean seriously, we are pretty much homebodies around here who do what we want when we want.

I keep trying to tell myself that I never went to preschool and I did okay. Actually, I hated school. All 12 years of it. And had I gone to preschool I would have hated all 13 years of it.

But Little d is different than me. She loves going places. She likes being around other kids. I'm hoping this will translate into her loving school. I am hoping beyond hope that she gets one of those good kindergarden teachers. The kind who loves kids and who knows just what to do to make them feel comfortable in school.

I realize that over the last few weeks I've been more and more stressed. And the more things I am stressing over, the more overwhelming they all seem together. I also am realizing that I haven't been praying lately.

So perhaps it's time to turn things over to God.

The tub saga part two

Soooo after the Lowes joke I tried a place called City Plumbing.

Wowza. They actually had a pink tub. Or was it a shower? I dunno, I'm still in shock. After waiting forever for someone to actually wait on me, I get this guy:

Guy: Can I help you?
Me: I'm looking for a corner tub--a soaking tub, not with jets--and I need it to have the front apron.
Guy: Is this for a trailer?

Huh?

Me: Um, no. It's for new construction.
Guy: Well I don't think you can get the tub with a skirt, unless it's a whirlpool, because that's the only reason they put that on there. For access panels.

Check, please.

Next stop...Kitchen and Bath Showroom. The lady there knew exactly what I needed as soon as I said it and plucked not one, but three binders from a long row of them to show me some samples. And then pulled it up on a full color computer screen and gave me quotes. Then she printed out the brochures and then she showed me little samples of the colors the tubs come in.

Sweet. But pricey.

Next stop. The internet. Where I located the tub, called the guy, got it delivered in a week.

Even sweeter. Gotta go!

Blogkeeping

You see what I did there? A cross between blog and housekeeping. I'm sure someone's done that before me, but anyhoo-

I should be housekeeping, but I'd rather blog while the girls bathe. So here's what going on...

House news: The painting continues. We went and got all the colors yesterday. SO exciting...can't wait to see them on the wall...pictures to follow! The tub came in today. The elusive tub. No that's not a type. It's not supposed to be exclusive. See the story is we needed a corner tub. Around here we call it a garden tub. The part you sit in is triangle shaped. We wanted a soaking tub, not a whirlpool. And it needed to have the front skirting. Welll if that's confusing...here's a picture:

Except we didn't want the whirlpool jets. And we needed the skirt. So we went to Lowe's. Twice. Uhhhg. Here's a thought. If you want to actually sell a tub, don't have the customer leaning over your shoulder looking at a weak computer moniter picture of a tub.

Time's Up! I decided that to blog more often, my posts may have to be broken into several pieces...so until part two...see ya!

Spackle on---

There is soooo much prep work that goes into painting the house. And it is so tedious. Primer, spackle, caulk, cutting in...all before the final coat. Hard, ass-sweating work. Haha I totally made up the word ass-sweating for the occassion, because believe me it is hot in south Texas right now.

Because I am breastfeeding I can't just go all nuts working out at the house. A) When I breastfed Little m I had at least four rounds of mastitis. And since using those chest muscles can cause me to have an infection, I have to be careful. B) I don't really have the stamina to go all out in the heat, and I don't want to overdo it. C) I have to either feed or pump at least every three hours when I'm awake. D) I have to stay really hydrated.

So, consequently, I not of much help. I try to do the work I can to make it easier for the others out there working...my dad and my in-laws. I did a little of the cutting in work, and lately I've been putting the filler in the nail holes on the trim...it's about as exciting as it sounds.

Oh and even though it's less than a month away, I am NOT going to start counting down the days I have left before Little d starts school... :(

Facelift!

The Cutest Blog on the Block (see above left) informed me that as of Friday I will no longer be able to use my blog background. I've had that background forever. I think I have had it since the month after I started blogging. I loved it. I had never seen it anywhere else and to me it was easy to read on. So I'm trying this one out as a replacement....we'll see how it works.

In other news: House stuff is rolling right along...no pun intended, but we have all the primer coat on the walls and ceilings save for one pantry. I've started filling in the finishing nails on all the trim work. There are millions of them.

We've ordered countertops, carpet and a tub. We've bought faucets and cabinet knobs. I believe this is the time they call a full court press. Although I don't watch basketball or know anything about it.

Y'all have a great rest of the weekend!

Cabinets!

If you happen to have already seen these pics on facebook--sorry for the repeat, but you know I had to post them here.

We have cabinets and let me tell you--makes it start to feel like a real house! Well that and the drywall!

Here's the full view of the kitchen taken from the bay window area.

This is the wall where the refrigerator will go. I wanted these deep drawers to put snacks and stuff in for the kiddos.

Here's the island. It has the drawers also...I'm thinking for all those plastic containers and lids!

Here's the area of the stove. I'm going to use a vent hood that has the exposed pipe and back the whole area with mosaic tile. At least that's the plan. Oh and on the side there is a bookcase for cookbooks. It looks a little weird because the shelves aren't mounted yet.

Moving on to our bathroom. Here's our cabinets. My husband insisted that he wanted a cabinet that opened specifically to his side so he wouldn't have to reach around a door to get his shaving stuff. Anal, I know, but he rarely has an absolute opinion so that's okay.

We came up with this design, and the cabinet maker added the front doors.

Here's my ingenious idea. I saw in a design mag where they flipped that fake drawer under a sink to the bottom of the cabinet and put the doors on top. And after tripping too many times on the little step stools the are always in front of our sinks, I decided to ask if they could make that drawer into a pull out step...voila!!



And here is an updated picture of our living room as taken from the back door.

It's a little like she's doing my laundry.

My mother in law that is.

See during this whole house building experience I haven't really been involved. My primary duty has been, you know, give birth and watch the kids. Well, that's pretty much my primary duty anyway, but up until now, I've had no purpose whatsoever with the house. Remember what I said D is in charge of function and I'm in charge of pretty. So now comes the pretty part and it's not fun.

It was supposed to be fun, but the fun has been sucked out of it. For starters, I kind of changed the whole decorating direction I was going. Instead of the kitchen being a traditional ivory with antique stuff and oil-rubbed bronze, I am now all about clean white and ivory with silver knobs and pulls and fixtures. So there was a little internal stress about 'what the hell am I thinking changing the whole aesthetic at the last minute?' {Yeah I used the word aesthetic...blame BRAVO.}

Then I found myself all alone. My mom came down with something (thankfully she is better now!) and couldn't be around to go shop with me. My BFF has another friend going through a divorce who needs a house hunting budding. SO here I was out at these kitchen and bath and carpet and tile and paint stores with no one to bounce ideas off of. It was such a bummer. And it was kind of pathetic how I latched on to the sales girls like they were my new BFFs. Yes we are building a house. Yes, and my daughter is starting kindergarten....

And here's the other kicker. Truly. And the reason for my weird post title. There are few mundane things that bring me joy. I enjoy accomplishing the laundry in peace. And I like to paint. (You know for the record I think people can be divided into two catagories: those who like to paint and those who don't. And while we're on the subject, those who like to are usually good at it and those who don't aren't.) Anyway. So today I am here at the house with two wild monkeys and a equally fussy baby, while my mother in law is out at my new house painting.

Yes I know I should be grateful it is getting done.

But like I said at the beginning, it's a little like she's doing my laundry.