I'll ring in the new year with a midnight feeding...

at least that's the likely scenario.

Being a mom is busy work. I often wonder how other moms do it. I mean, for the last few days I've managed to load the dishwasher once a day and sweep. To be fair, the dishwasher loading took place after D was home to watch the kiddos.

I joke that this new house is big. I mean BIG. As in I get winded doing the laundry because I run from one end to the other several times carting loads of wash.

Christmas day was something this year. I spent most of the afternoon (post gift-opening frenzy) crying. I am unsure if it had to do with missing the POC Christmas, losing two grandmothers this year, reading the book 'Room' on my brand new Kindle, or a combination of all three. But other than that it was nice to have a lazy day home with my kids and hubby. (A brief aside...if you have not read that book...get thee to a bookstore and find one if you can. I didn't put it down until I finished it.)

My life is a bit mundane right now. Which is good for me. Bad for blogging. I don't even have some mediocre handmade cards to show off.

The good news is the kids are growing and active and healthy. (plus snotty noses--I am realizing that for this first year of Kindergarten (please God just the first year) there will be a plethora of snotty noses.)

Little md is pulling up and cruising along the couch. Did I mention that before? I can't remember. Tonight for the first time he had ham (from a baby food jar) and seemed to like it. None of my other kiddos liked meat. Still don't. I am so excited that he ate it!

Little m is owning her passion for defiance.

Little d is such a big girl. Young lady. Great helper.

D is working hard as always. Someday I have big plans that we will carry on a conversation without an interruption. But alas, not today. And not on new year's eve...he's working then too.

Night to you....

It's my favorite time of the year!!

(said heavily laced with sarcasm)



This weekend is a trip to the inlaws. Now we know that my preferred daughter in law status has been approved. But that doesn't change how much I enjoy packing up the kids (now three of course) and travelling over there to stay in our (possibly stinky, and very possibly cold) travel trailer.



To make the trip even more appealing I have carefully orchestrated a major dental appointment tomorrow. See, last week I popped out a filling (totally on purpose of course) and now have to have the offending tooth pulled. The offending-pain-in-my-ass-since-I-was-twelve-years-old-and-it-should-have-been-pulled-along-with-my-wisdom-teeth-tooth. This lousy tooth has had fillings, root canal, and now this. At least I will finally be done with it.



But you know. Thought I would make the weekend more fun. The good news is I only have to stay for one night.



Gosh I miss this blog. I miss scrapbooking too, but I miss the time to sit and just rattle on about the every day in this semi-anonymous venue.



Little d in school. She has relaapsed in the last few weeks into missing me and getting teary/crying. She still trudges through and doesn't fight going, she just clearly would rather not. I think the 'oh this is going to go on forever' mentality has finally hit. I can so relate. I hated most every day of school growing up. I was really wishing she would have so much fun that she wouldn't miss me at all. Maybe it will get easier as the time goes on. Although to be fair, it hasn't gotten easier for me.



Little d just finished her first ever Christmas program last night. I could not have been more proud. She knew all the little hand moves and words and smiled while she sang. SO precious!!



Little m is hitting the defiant stage but at the same time so stinkin cute! She is really into books right now. She loves to just look at them or be read to. And just this week she started playing on the computer. Not just looking over Little d's shoulder.



Little md. Crawling and pulling up on things. In fact we have decided the Christmas tree will look ever so lovely in the dining room this year. Not in the living room where Little md can help with it.



And the three of them...all in various stages of yet another snotty nose cold. Little md the worst of the three right now. Hopefully only a few days until he is all better. And here's the part of me that is weak and vindictive. Maybe this year we will be the ones spreading Christmas cheer to the other snot nosed kids that are at the inlaws family Christmas instead of the other way around. Oh I know that's petty!! And mean and awful and I should delete that sentence entirely!! But I won't even though it's not how I really feel.

Whiney child wins...post must end now!

Blogs/Veteran's Day

How can you tell I'm blogging more frequently? My titles get lame-r.

So I haven't been visiting any blogs in the last few months, because of the move, total upheaval of life, and lack of good internet connection/time. How's that for excuses? But now that things are calming down, and I have time to blog, I am trying to find all the blogs I used to have saved into my favorites. Except that my favorites are on the crashed laptop. SO I am going through past comments or just plain trying to remember the blog addresses, NOT EASY.

Hopefully I'll be able to get to some of them and from their blogs, be able to more. But to be honest I don't have the time to look at all of the ones I used to. And I guess that's okay.

Today Little d had a program at school and I was so excited to hear her sing God Bless the USA and do the sign language to go with it. But due to bad seating, I saw none of her (and as you tell from the photo, I barely grabbed a shot of her leaving the performance!). It was a moving program none the less, but I really wish I could have seen her perform. I am pretty sure the Christmas program will have better seating. Fingers crossed!

Off to sleeeeeeep!!!

ETA: the photo

Fine! I'll show you my kitchen!

It's not completely clean, heck it's not even finished, but here's the latest pictures. There is still backsplash tile work to be done and and the vent hood needs to be installed. And of course, as with the rest of the house, no decorating has been done yet. But who knows how long all this will take?

And was I standing sideways when I took this one??

Shhh--that's like three posts in three days--what next? All the laundry done??

Little md

He's not so little anymore. He weighs 20 pounds. Yes and he's tall too.

He is such a happy baby. Truly. Always has a smile. Even for people he doesn't know. He's mostly sitting up now and in the last couple of days he's started pushing up on all fours. I can't believe we are close to crawling aready. Childproofing--here we come!

Since he was breastfed until just recently, he's only had oatmeal. But starting tomorrow I'm trying a veggie. Sweet potatoes or green beans...haven't decided yet. Both of the girls were started on green beans, but we'll see.

He can mumble dada and mama and high-eye (which I guess is southern for hi!). But I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what he's saying. He loves his sisters like nobody's business! He is just fascinated with them. And the best part is they looove to perform for him. Dancing, singing, whatever they can do to make him laugh!

Really it's just crazy fun to have three children. I never could have imagined life could be this awesome!

Let us pray

About that church thing. I started going again. Not really kicking and screaming, but let's say only as a favor to my dad. And the entire hour of quiet. (It's a Catholic mass, so of course it's quiet....except for that song with the tambourine. Really? Is this 1970?) Anyway.

It was a little weird. It's a church here that I've only been to for a couple of weddings and one funeral, so it's like going to church in a new town. Don't really recognize that many people either, but the priest who just took over is amazing. I adore him.

So I agreed to go back with my dad to church. Here's driving up here every Saturday so we can go. I don't look forward to mass necessarily, but I do enjoy spending time with dad. And there is one part of the mass that I meditate on all week.

It's the "Let us pray" part. If you're not Catholic, there is this part where a reader (or in some places the priest) says Let us pray for blank (like the sick of the parish, or our nation's leaders, or victims in Haiti) and the congregation responds "Lord hear our prayer." There are several prayers and then they say "For the intentions we hold in our hearts......pause....Lord hear our prayers." So the first week I was a little caught off guard. I was mostly stressing about attending my niece's baptism the next day--where I had been unasked to be Godmother. (The priest of that congregation deemed me unfit to be a Godmother. I wrote an entire post about the whole situation, but I decided not to publish it.) Where was I? Oh yeah, so I was kind of in a stressed mood and when the 'pause' came "just let me get through this baptism with out crying" popped into my head. And somehow. I did. And better than just getting through it, I finally made peace with it. And the whole week was somehow better.

So the next week I thought "help me be a good wife". I know. Please. I'm rolling my own eyes at that, but that's what popped into my head. I guess you would have to check with D to see how well that worked out.

Week Three: "Help to be a better mother." This one I actually premeditated. I just felt like the entire week I was screaming at the kids. Mostly Little d. And by Saturday I was feeling like (as my crush Glenn Beck would say) a crap sandwich. I think I did make a conscience effort to dial back the temper and handle things with a cooler head.

Last week: "Contentment". Just in everything. To stop always seeing the incomplete undone things around me and the things I can't change as dominating my whole world. To be content with all that I have. I think it's working. I actually feel a heavy mood lifting away. Every time I feel some negativity popping up, I just think "contentment" like some kind of mantra. And for whatever reason--prayer--it's working.

Tonight's prayer...understanding. Like for example why D felt the need to go hunting even though this is his only days off in months and our other house is STILL not ready to be put on the market....

Miss me much??

Let's see if I get to sit long enough to type a blog post.

Halloween came and went. And if I had photoshop on the laptop I would load some pictures for you today, BUT it takes forever to load the ginormous pics and I quit messing with them once I uploaded them to facebook. Incidentally, if you want to be my friend on FB just email me (it's on the sidebar), and I'll add you. You'll get updates about me more regularly! I know you want that right?!?

Little d is doing great in school. Tomorrow we have a required conference with her teacher to get her first 9 week report card. I am so anxious to see how the teacher perceives her. AND to see how well she's doing--or if she's paying attention!

And now I'm holding Little md...

He's helping!

I'm not breastfeeding any more...as per his wishes. And I'm okay with that. It was nice not to make the decision to wean on my own. Seriously son--mom is so thankful to you. Easiest baby to breastfeed and easiest to wean. So just for giggles let's add it up. I spent 29 months of my life pregnant and 21 months breastfeeding. (two months pregnant for the miscarriage if you're wondering about that math.)

gotta go...miss scrapbooking like an old friend...

This Little Life

I miss my old life a little. Okay aLot. The days where my schedule was not determined by the school district.

I should preface this post by saying that I am not looking for a pity party. I just happen to have two minutes to myself so I thought I would blog. And since I haven't been able to visit any of my favorites in so long, I'll just type a little on mine. And what I have to blog about isn't really exciting. In fact it's a little depressing.

Speaking of depressed. I think I qualify. I mean like clinically. It started with Little d starting school. That was major upheaval for me. I honestly don't know how woman can go to work and send their children to daycare. I'm not criticizing anyone, I just physically could not do it. The beginning was rough for her, but she's adjusting so well. And now she has a crush on one of those dread boys she so desperately wanted to vanish just two weeks ago.

Where was I? Oh adjusting. Well, like I said, she's doing well. I'm doing better. I still have such a rough time not being around her and knowing what's going on. Like when she's says that this one little girl called her 'nasty'. Now I have to determine the context and help her deal with it without actually being present to know what happened. I am pretty sure that this little girl thinks Little d has a crush on this boy and because of that called her 'nasty'. Hopefully in the "That's So Raven" sense. 'Just ignore her' and 'play with your other friends' was my advice when I really want to tell her to tell the little low class snot to drop dead. No not drop dead. But maybe trip...

We'll see what comes of it.

So let's set aside the school stress and discuss other things. Like snot.

Since Little d has started school, she has had four consecutive colds that have been passed to Little m. Two of which were also passed to me and D. Not sure what Little md caught. So far anything has been super mild for him--maybe due to me breastfeeding? Anyway. My children aren't sick often at all and when they get colds it seems that they also tend towards getting upset tummies. So (keep reading I dare you) I have slept most nights in one or the other's bed or on the couch or on the floor in the living room. I think grand total I have slept in my bed four times since Little d started school August 23rd. Most nights I also spend listening for coughing, vomiting or crying (especially Little m-she seems to have gotten the worst of them all).

SO worrying about kiddos and no sleep equals stress.

Now moving on to the other major stress factor right now. House. Rather, houses. We still have not cleaned out the other house and put in on the market. Which I know is just as crazy as me not sleeping in my own bed for two months. When would we have the time? D has been working non stop. We have to afford the two houses, right? And the sad part for me is that I didn't get that big moment of packing up stuff, saying goodbye to the home I brought the babies home to, and unloading the first boxes in the new house. We didn't have that 'first night in the new house' moment as a family. Instead, we snuck in praying we weren't discovered by the bank inspector with suitcases and stuff thrown together like we were running from a hurricane. And D was working nights so we didn't do it as a family. Are you depressed yet?

I guess the worst of it boils down to this doesn't feel like home. It's better than it was, but not as good as it should be. Little m still calls it 'the land'. And yesterday she cried because she wanted to go to the old house.

I'm also having a little mini-crisis of religion, but that's a whole other post. And it's not an I-don't-believe-in-God crisis. It's how much do I believe in raising my kids Catholic.

I've gotta wrap this up. So I'll leave on a bright note. I bought my first post-Little md jeans. In a size 14, but still. They weren't pregnancy jeans.

I told D I wanted things to return to normal and he said maybe this is the new normal. Well...the size 14 jeans better not be a part of the deal...

Rain rain go away...

Have I already used that for a title some time? I can't remember, but I can't seem to come up with something flashy for this post.

Here's a little uppie datie for the whole Baptism thing. I thought I would go ahead and have my youngest two baptized at the same time in the same church as Little Miss Perfect was going to be baptized--seeing as how I'm going to be her Godmother, and my sis-in-law is Little m's Godmother. So I went to Holy Family to fill out the paperwork. (I just went ahead and used the real church's name there you see what I did.) Anyway. The parish priest wanted to meet with me.

I'm going to give you the rundown of how that went...with just the highlights.

Him: You don't go to church often enough to have your children baptized here. If you can come back in four weeks and tell me that you are going to church then everything will be hunky-dory. And by the way you are meaningless as a Godmother.

Me: Thank you. (exit stage left)

Okay so he didn't say hunky-dory, but the rest is accurate. Yes he said "you are meaningless". What a tool.

I thought Baptism was to wash away original sin not to increase church enrollment, but what do I know. I have heard so many stories about this particular priest. Recently I found out that he told a member of his church that they didn't contribute enough money to be members. And they were surviving on one income. Hmmm.

Here's another jewel for you to chew on:

On Little d's birthday we were not really living here. (Remember?) SO we put off her party until the weekend we moved in. It was totally spur of the moment and my mother in law offered to make cupcakes. I thought that was soooo sweet. She asked Little d what kind she wanted and Little d said carrot and apple and chocolate. (Well what do you expect when you ask a 6 year old what kind of cake she wants...) So mil asks me if cream cheese icing is okay since Little d can't eat dairy with out getting a stomach ache. I reply that no, we should probably stick with regular white icing.

Guess what she frosted them in? Did she bother to tell me what she frosted them in before Little d ate one? No. Bitch. Sorry, but I have no use for people like that. Who does that to a child?

Back to the title of this post. It's been raining all the T-I-M-E tiiiiiii-iiimme!!!

Still Here

A quick note or ten.


School is going well for Little d. And sometimes I don't even cry on the ride home...


Breastfeeding is going well for Little md (he's even had a little formula now and then and done well on it.) My 17 pound four month old.

We are officially living in our new house. And as soon as the boxes are put away...or at least hidden...I'll post pictures.

Little m has entered and mastered the "why?" stage. And I have mastered the "I don't know" and the "because I said so" stage.

Our new internet connection (via ATT cell phone) is slower than slow. We're gonna have to amend that sometime. On the subject of technology...we have our satellite set up, aaaaand we signed up for texting. Seriously! How fun is that?!?

I think I juuuust see that light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh, and I'm a room mom! Cool, right?

Birthday in a construction zone

Despite being days away from a completed house, we still have paper taped down in the hall, broken down boxes from appliances, step ladders, hammers, levels and the ever useful painter's tape scattered about.

Amid all this Little d celebrated her sixth birthday today. Labor day--just like six years ago--and she declared it the best birthday ever. God Bless the resilience of children. Her breakfast was a canned cinnamon roll with a "6" candle in it. Unlit, because there are no matches or lighters here. Shhh, I used the wall oven to cook the rolls. She pretended to blow it out, while I took pictures. A generic "Happy Birthday" banner was the backdrop---taped up with blue painter's tape.

She opened her gifts of a fashion template notebook, four barbie dresses, lip gloss and a diary. She liked them all and played with the fashion notebook and diary most of the day.

It's so hard to realize that she is already six years old. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital a week ago? Wasn't she just learning to talk yesterday? I miss those days sometimes, but I am so enjoying the young lady she is becoming. I am also enjoying how much she dislikes those "weird" boys in her class. I know that won't last either...

The Secret Life

You probably think I've fallen off the earth. And I would hesitate to disagree. Little d starting school is just part of the roller coaster. We have 'moved' into the new house. But on the sly. Technically we can't live here until the final bank inspection, so we are really "living" in the travel trailer parked in the drive way. When the inspector came out last week for the next to last draw, I just knew that one of the kids (Little m to be exact) was going to spill the beans. But it went off without a hitch.

Hopefully the paperwork will be signed next Friday and then we can officially move in. Living out of boxes and sleeping on air matresses sucks on so many levels. Especially trying to make school lunches and get kids bathed and to bed...

We can't have a TV in here, so the satellite was set up for the trailer, but that just means we haven't watched TV in two weeks. And we didn't have any internet for about a week and a half. Talk about living in the stone ages. I didn't even know there was a hurricane!

You know what else?

I've lost six pounds.

I've never in my whole life been so tired. Never.

I washed a dress for Little d's picture day in a sink with Palmolive.

Sending her to school each day feels a lot like a death in the family.

I count the minutes until I can pick her up.

She's never seen me cry about it, I save my tears for the car ride home.

I worry about fitting in with the other kinder moms.

I fear the next time I sleep on a real matress I'll fall off.

My mother in law was here every day the first week and a half and yet I killed no one.

Me and my dad work really well together...and we crack each other up.

My husband and I have successfully built a house and not gotten a divorce.

I miss blogging.

The pits

I knew the day would come when I would have to send Little d to school. And I even anticipated how rough it would be. I told D a couple of years ago that he needed to take the day off just to be there for me when I collapsed in tears after dropping her off.

Today we had the little meet and greet at her school. It's a small little country school with an awesome reputation. I instantly felt the warmth from her teacher, Mrs. H. And there is another mother there that I see a potential bond with. Though I could only nod and smile when she spoke to me, so close was I to tears.

I have been seconds from tears for the last two days. Last night my brother called to say that if we needed to spend the night in his new house we could instead of staying in our travel trailer at the land. I couldn't even speak I was so choked up. We are hopefully less than two weeks from being able to move into our house, but I was so not wanting to be "camping" during Little d's first weeks of school.

Everything feels upsidedown right now. My house is a mess, my body is a mess, my hair is a mess, my state of mind is a mess. I have never been this disorganized in my whole life. I just wanted Little d to start school and have the transition be smooth as silk. But I don't see how that can be possible.

I should just focus on the positives. She is going to a great school. She is super excited about it. Her teacher seems like just the type of person that you want to be your kindergarten teacher. She even had a little goodie bag at each kid's spot.

But I still have this yucky feeling of dispair in the pit of my stomach. It's a mix of not being with her every second of the day combined with she's going out into the big bad world without me.

I'm praying she loves school so much she never cries not to go...because then I just may have to look into that whole homeschooling thing...

Paint Fumes

Yesterday the 'painter' was supposed to be done with all the cabinet work in the house. {We hired out for that. All the rest we are doing ourselves.} But when I looked at the doors, they aren't all done properly. On the dark cabinets, you can see primer through and on some of the bookcase shelves, there are streaks of dull paint--like the final coat was sprayed on unevenly. Ugh. Just what I need.

My dad and I finished the caulking today. Well except for two baseboards in the stair landing. They aren't nailed to the wall. Yeah, you read that right.

D is spraying the ceilings with the final coat. Maybe tomorrow, we can start the final coat on the walls and trim.

Meanwhile, I have a smashing headache. Either from being hot, not drinking enough water, or...paint fumes.

Whose idea was it to build this house again?

How it goes....

drive to land

work

drive home

pump

repeat.