The Bedroom Device That Saved My Marriage

Get your mind out of the gutter people! I'm talking about a CPAP machine. You know, for snoring.



So this post is my own personal PSA. (public service announcement). After hearing my lovely sleep and snore, I wondered how I would ever get a good night's sleep. You see, I am a light sleeper. He sleeps like the dead. And during his dead sleep, he snores. No wait that's putting it mildly. Hmmm. He makes noises like he is trying to inhale the neighbors' drapes. Through our walls. He snores like he has wild animals shoved up his nostrils. He snores like...like...LIKE POPPY DOES! Oh my gosh can those men snore.



You get the picture. Perhaps you even know one of these men. Anyways. After getting married and sharing a bed, it was clear that I would have to wake him up several times a night to roll over. It went a little something like this...



Nudge. Nothing.

Poke. Nada.

Shhhhhhove. "Hmpt"

"You're snoring."

Nothing.

"Babe? Roll over."

"mmmm-kay."

Nothing.

"Roll over."

Nothing.

Shove with my foot.

Nothing.

"BABE! Roll over you are snoring!" While shaking.

A pissed off look. "What!?!"

Sigh loudly. "Can you roll over you are snoring really loudly?"

Finally he rolls over. I have 17.3 seconds to fall asleep before he starts again.



Enter the birth of our firstborn. Lack of sleep made us both...'cranky'. It was either he stop snoring and start getting a better rest/less grumpy, or I divorce his cranky ass. One sleep study and CPAP machine later and we are all happy(er) campers.



But in all seriousness. Sleep apnea can lead to all sorts of problems and have dire consequences so if you know someone who has the symptoms, you should suggest they speak to their doc about it. And you will both sleep much better...trust me!