Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Passenger Seat Cure

 For two years I have worried about Covid.  

Originally I worried for everyone in my family, and the world, when little was known.  I am a germaphobe.  So anytime a scary new disease emerges--bird flu anyone?--I scour the internet for information and stay glued to the TV.  I then assess the threat to my family.  Usually it's not bad.  I look first at how is it transmitted and then, the death/survival rate.  

The last one that terrified me was Ebola.  I had seen the news reports early, before people were really talking about it.  And I thought this looks scary.  I mean the disease progression itself.  And another scary part was the death rate.  Originally I think they said 80% were dying.  This of course was skewed by the fact that it was in an area with little medical advances and other reasons but still--super scary.  The one thing that calmed me was it was not airborne.  Only transmissible through body fluids.  Well folks, if anyone can stay away from body fluids and keep her kids away from body fluids it's....this girl!!

When it hit Dallas I told all my family members who would constantly joke about my sanitation standards who are you looking to now??  HaHA.  Me that's who!  Ebola would not stand a CHANCE!  Then it seemed we were able to get that under control thank goodness.  

Covid was different.  I immediately thought oh this one could be for real.  I remember sitting in my favorite Mexican restaurant with my husband and cousin eating lunch.  I remember saying I think this one is gonna get bad. This was the week before my kids Spring Break.  The Spring Break that lasted until summer because schools closed down.  

One thing that was known pretty soon is how deadly this was for older people and people with preexisting conditions.  My parents.

I immediately did what I have been training for my whole life it seems.  I quarantined everyone and everything.  You did not have to explain to my how to wipe down items and keep things sterile.  Training my whole life people!  It was easy.  We have stockpiles of so many things because I'm a germaphobe remember AND we live in the country so we don't make trips to the store often.  Also I had started using curbside a year before because it made grocery shopping so easy!  I was set.  Well except for the bread situation.  I did not have stockpiles of bread.  And turns out yeast was also scarce.  I ended up getting some for $50 from Amazon--a pound.  I still have it and it still works.  I recently went to check and see the price of it now.  Eight Doll Hairs.  *disgusted face*

Time moves on and my priority was keeping my parents safe.  We decided to do virtual school the next year so that we could still have contact with my parents.  Then sweet blessings!  A vaccine was made!  Mom and dad got the vaccine--after trial and error of vying for the doses being released.  Then me and husband got ours!  So the last nine weeks of school my kiddos went back face to face----with masks of course.  They got to finish the year with their friends and teachers.  It was a big adjustment.

Then summer came and teens could get vaccinated!  We were so happy to be getting back to normal!  Little d and little m both got fully vaxxed by July.  I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief.  I was still nervous for little md.  He was starting 6th grade at a new school and they were no longer offering virtual school.  If I didn't want him to go (as Delta began to rise) I would have to homeschool.  I was so torn.  He had done blood work and his Vitamin D levels were low.  He was on a supplement.  It was thought that low vitamin d was bad with covid so I consulted with his pediatrician.  She said he should wear a mask but she thought it would be ok.  

So my kids all started this year wearing a mask.  And less than two weeks into the year kids and teachers were dropping like flies to covid--not dying, I guess I worded that wrong--they were getting sick.  So many that the district sent out a notification to please consider wearing a mask even though Texas can't let them mandate it because we were at the breaking point for being able to have staff to run the schools.

My kids were among the roughly 1/3 of students wearing masks. Little md's friend at the lunch table had covid (his family doesn't believe in masks).  Two days later Mitchell came down with it.  Long story short so did I.  As I was primarily the one taking care of him.  It was rough and scary for me but we both recovered.  

In October my parents were able to get their booster.  I told my husband to get one to since I just had covid, my hybrid immunity was considered strong.  D put it off and sure enough in January when Little m followed by Little d caught it so did he.  Little md and I stayed well.  Their bout was not too horrible.  Like a flu.  Little m had a very bad sore throat for several days.  And they all had headaches too.

But so far I had managed to keep the most vulnerable in my fam safe.  My mom and dad.  

They started hanging out with my aunts and uncles.  Several family members have moved back to POC and it's actually awesome.  It's like a little retirement village!  Card games, dessert, potluck dinners.  I am so thrilled for them!  And everyone attending is vaccinated and most are boosted.

But unfortunately one aunt (who is going through chemo) turned up with covid after a Sunday spent playing cards.  In the week and half that followed 15 others would test positive including my parents.  Thank goodness all are doing well and on the mend.

I went and picked up my parents meds the other day and was riding with them in the passenger seat.  It hit me that two years ago I never would have thought I would be carrying what is essentially the cure for a pandemic in a paper bag on my passenger seat.  I almost started crying.

The ups and downs have happened this year.  My entire world view shifted--more on that to follow--and we made it through.  We officially MADE IT THROUGH a pandemic.  We can now go back to our regularly scheduled program of my fear of regular germs.  

peace out....wait did someone say monkey pox??!


Wednesday, May 25, 2022

15 Minutes

It takes about 15 minutes to drive my two middle schoolers to school in the morning.  Give or take considering lights and traffic.  Our usual thing is to talk about the day ahead and say our morning prayers.  Sometimes we listen to the radio--not too often these days as we are tired and unenthusiastic for school.

15 minutes:

'Get in we are running behind.'  Little m was running late-unusual for her-because she is in a play today and needed a last minute 'costume'.  Camo jacket with black jeans as she is playing in The Night Witches.  A story about Russian women pilots during WW2 worth learning about if you haven't heard of them.

Hop in check to make sure we have all our things. Lunches. Badges. Phones.

Drive way.  'You know there was a school shooting in Texas that killed 19 kids, right?'  I start.  Talking over the lump in my throat.  They have to hear it from me also I have to give the warnings.  'I just want you guys to be aware ALL THE TIME of your surroundings.  Always aware of the situation.'  I go on to talk about paying attention to things.  Remember where you are supposed to go in each class room.  From the active shooter drills they've had.

10 Minutes:

We discuss as we always do at least once a month.  Be kind to everyone.  Stick up for anyone you see getting bullied.  It's hard but it's the right thing to do.  'We are privileged.'  We have food everyday.  And clothes and your parents don't hit each other or you.  'We are so lucky.'  Just be kind to everyone because we don't know what they go home to every day.

7 Minutes:

'I am soo proud of you guys.'  Not just for your grades I let them know.  But for how they are so kind and good humans.  'Being a good human is more important than being smart.'  We say our prayers.  As we do every morning.  But this morning I am fighting hard not to cry as we add prayers for the families in Uvalde.

3 Minutes:

Pull up to the stoplight by the school.  Little m from the back seat....why are the flags halfmast?  Is that for the shooting?  Me....yes it must be.  Turn into the drop off lane.  'You know these last two days of school will be the safest all year because everyone is on heightened alert.'  I fucking hate that I said that and that I know that.  There is an SRO walking through the parking lot an assistant principal standing with a security guard at drop off.  Little m laughs that she's going to have to explain that she's wearing a camo jacket because she's in a play.

One Minute:

'Ok I love you guys kisses kisses see you at regular pickup time.'

And then I watch them get out.  And then I check my blind spot and the crosswalk.  And then I pull back into the traffic lane.  And then I start crying.

I don't know what needs to be done but we can't keep doing what we are doing now because it is not working.

Sunday, May 22, 2022

The Comment Section

 The comment section gets me every time.  

I'll see a post on fb and I know the comment section is gonna piss me off, but I'll read it anyway.  It is such an Achilles heel for me I thought about creating a twitter account just to post the stupid comments people post.   If I'm honest I still want to do that.

I usually don't say anything.  Unless it's just TOO much.  Most of the time I'll just screenshot it and send it to little d and then we roast the beep out of the person.  

Just today I saw a comment of a relative--I use that term loosely as he is married to one of my cousins--about the formula shortage.  

Now let's start by saying I breastfed three children.  One for four months with little medical support and two breast infections and then another infection that required a medicine that was not bf friendly so I had to quit.  The second child refused to use ANY other nipple/pacifier and I was forced to bf exclusively for one year.  The third ate WAYYY more than I could keep up with I had to supplement and then stop at five months.  So when I say I have a personal opinion about this know.....that I do

Anyway back to the comment.  

The original post said "BABIES WITHOUT FOOD SHOULD BE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY, NOT A PROBLEM FOR PARENTS TO SOLVE"   Seems reasonable to me.  I mean babies without food=emergency.  So Dipshit comments the following....

"I'm still stuck on the fact that people have been a thing for a couple thousand years and commercially produced formula has only been around 50-60 years.  How'd we make it this far?  Wake up sheep, and pull your heads out your asses."

Well that's a lot to unpack.  I mean let's break it down.  People being 'a thing' for 2000 years.  Well we've been around longer but let's slide on past that.  In 13 seconds I found on google that commercially produced formula was invented in 1867 to solve infant mortality.  I mean he asked a reasonable question....how'd we make it this far?  I thought maybe he actually wanted an answer.

Here's my response:  "Formula has actually been around for over a hundred years.  It was invented to help combat infant mortality.  So I guess the answer to what did we do before that was.....die.  Or I guess hope you could find a wet nurse *shrug emoji*"

Snarky I know.  But he was being a dick.  And since both of his children were born addicted to controlled substances I thought he was being a little holier than thou.

He responded with this gem: "obviously the vast majority survived just fine without formula *shrug emoji*"

Yeah.  He's right.  Fuck those babies who can't survive.  

I didn't comment that.  But I really wanted to.  I mean reeeallly wanted to.  I mean like even now I want to go back and write that.  But I decided to let his stupidity speak for itself.  

Gosh this blogging thing is super therapeutic.  Maybe I don't need that twitter account???

Saturday, May 21, 2022

You've Got Mail

 I got an email this morning that kind of rocked me.  


I slept in--lazy Saturday.  When I woke up I checked my phone as always.  Email first today.  There was a comment on my blog post from September 3rd, 2010.  It could be a bot who knows.  "Lisa said Hi, great reading your post"

I haven't gotten a comment in years.  I tapped the link wondering what post it was.  It was the post titled The Secret Life.  It was about the day my oldest....little d....started kindergarten.  

Whew.

I was done in.  I was so incredibly sad.  Why on earth had I stopped blogging?  The emotions were so raw and perfectly described that time in my life.  I went back to my most recent post.  The start of the pandemic.  Again.  Why on earth have I not documented these last two years?  I could scream.

I come back to this blog every once in a while intent on starting to regularly update.  I think that the overwhelming sense that there is too much to catch up stops me.  But what if this time I just document what's going on now and as past stories are relevant they get included.

I started this blog as a new mom.  I had no idea what life had to offer.  I didn't know I would end up with three brilliant kids who are also amazing little humans I love to be around.  I didn't know my political beliefs and world views and religion would shift and change for the better.  I didn't know I would sit on boards and task forces and work at volunteer organizations that would change my life.  Never thought I would be president of a PTO either.  *shrugs*

Here I sit as a middle aged woman with a child one year from college, another starting high school, and yet another halfway through middle school.  I've logged 20+ years of marriage and we're building a vacation home directly on the spot where the trailer I grew up in sat.  I spend several hours a week volunteering, not enough time doing laundry and dreading every meal I have to cook.  I pick floor and tile samples and second guess choices and dream of the day the house is finished.  It's been almost two years.

Seriously this time I've got to stick with the blog.  And hopefully my writing will improve because like my weak muscles it is a skill that needs exercise.  Also my 17 year old said 'I think you should start writing again I think it will be good for you.'  So there's that.

ok as i reread this i am cringing so i'll hit publish before i change my mind....