It's been ages....

Life just goes on and on.  And somehow Facebook replaced posting here.  And that other little blog I run just for Close to My Heart stuff.

But recently I've been itching to tell more detailed stuff (that no one ever reads ha ha)--to keep a better record of what's going on.  I don't know how much picture stuff I'll post here.  Now that it requires uploading to photobucket because my blogger space is full.

My reasons are pretty simple.  I don't keep a journal in real life, and eventually, I will love for the kiddos to see all the daily little things that went on in our life.

So I've decided to start writing again.  Life has calmed down since we built a house/moved/started a kid in school/had number three all in one year.  Here's a few updates.

Little d is weeks away from graduating second grade.  She is simply brilliant.  She's reading at a fifth grade level.  Her teacher asked us at the beginning of the year if we wanted her tested for G/T because she thought Little d would enjoy it.  And we agreed.  She tested a bit ago and we just received the letter that she's been accepted to the program.  I am so proud of her.

PS I would rather be sleeping right now...I am so effing tired ALL THE TIME.

Where was I?  Oh yes sleep.  Haha,  no.  Little d.  She is also beautiful.  And absolutely adorable with her cute little reading glasses.  She is going through this phase.  Well I certainly hope it's a phase.  Of treating Little m like crap.  Little m wants nothing more than to follow Little d around as soon as she gets home from school and play/talk/just hang out with her.  Little d wants nothing to do with her.  BUT the kicker is she will fawn all over Little md.  And that's the part that frustrates me. I get if she needs space, but the way she favors one and is completely nice to him and then tells Little m 'no I don't want to play with you just Little md.' is killer.  I am working on correcting the problem.

She is also so tall.  I think she'll be passing me by next year HA.  She loves fashion and art.  Or what she perceives to be fashion and art.  Her favorite color is blue.  AND she still requires someone to sit with her while she goes to sleep.  At eight years old.  Clearly I am a failure at parenting.  ;)

There's so much more to describe her but let's move on to the next little.

Little m is a very energetic 5 year old.  She is beyond ready to be going to school like her big sister.  I hope she still feels that way a week into Kindergarten.  After the health scares of last year and the trip to the immunologist and the new pneumonia vaccine, we finally got the all clear.  Her immune system is perfectly fine.  And this year has been better.  I pray every single day.  In fact usually several times a day for their health and well being.

She is a fireball.  Always hugging and loving.  I know that sounds like two contradictory things, but she manages to fit them both into her tiny fairy body.  She is always dancing or singing or wanting to play doctor or restaurant or with Little md and his toys.  And he's usually more than happy to play with her too.

She is still changing clothes several times a day.  Adding to my ten loads of laundry per week quota.  But it's okay.  The food thing though.  Gosh she survives on the worst diet.  I don't even begin to know how to fix it.  She has a very short list of foods she will eat.  And there are a few others she will eat if the mood hits her, but other than that it's the same thing over and over.  It is one of the things that stresses me most in life.  And that is not an exaggeration.

Little md is my boy.  My little man.  And also proof that every single child is already born with their own personality.  He definitely has moments of terrible two-edness.  But then he is just as sweet as can be on the flip side.  A solid little golden haired boy in desperate need of his first haircut.  He loves all things manly.  Monster trucks. Tractors.  Dinosaurs.  Airplanes.  Tools.  The color blue.  Eating meals.  Sweating.  Being dirty.  And (I recently discovered) pictures of chicks in bikinis on motorcycles.  lol with that one.

And just last week my little baby boy grew up a little more.  He is sleeping in his room on his bed with his Spiderman sheets.  And loves it.

And can I tell you?  That first night?  It really hit me hard that my baby is slowing turning into a kid.  It always does hit me hard the first night they are sleeping on their own.  But this time because he is the last...well I guess I shed a few extra tears.

Stay tuned.  I just my post again before you know it.  hahaha

Updates {Little md turns two}

I'm going to make a long post about what's been going on since I just realized how long it's been since I updated!!

Little md

Just look at that face.  Tell me you wouldn't want to kiss that everyday!

Tomorrow (or today depending on when I finish this) he turns two.  He can even hold up the two fingers to prove it.  He loves all things tractor.  That includes dump trucks, front end loaders, you get the idea.  So even though I thought monsters would be a cute party theme....I knew that he would prefer construction.

I got the idea for this cake on pinterest (of course) but did some editing.  It turned out way better than I thought it would.

I had been fully prepared for this to be Little md's mulligan cake.  As in the year I totally screwed up his birthday cake/party. The year Little d started school was her mulligan cake.  I didn't even make one.  I let my MIL make cupcakes instead--which she iced with cream cheese frosting, after I told her that might upset Little d's stomach.  Ahem.  Little m hasn't had a mulligan yet.  What do you think?  Does this cake pass?  Do I still get a mulligan at some later date for Little md, too?

In case you were wondering what those little patches of colorful dots are...

It's grass with wildflowers of course.

Little md seems to enjoy his cake.

And so did I.  As evidenced here by my husband...the photographer.  Ahem.

You're certainly welcome for that picture.

It was a fun afternoon.  Little md got toys, a pool full of balls and a bubble machine.  Don't forget the remote control monster truck!  Why, what else does that boy do in his spare time you ask?  Practice his planking on the kitchen table...

Ah but lest I forget to mention.  Not only is he a champ at eating his cake he can also blow out the candles all by himself.

 
Just please don't sing that Happy Birthday song again!

Little d

This girl is amazing.  She's so smart.  And now always reading.  Here's a little picture of her posing before her dance recital pictures.  The recital is in a couple of weeks.  (I'll be the one crying while her two beautiful daughters are dancing on stage.)  This is her jazz costume.  For the broadway theme her dance here is from grease "We Go Together" like rama lama ding dang.  Or however that song goes.  HA.  Anyway-she's the cutest Pink Lady I've ever seen....

Little m

Who is NOT little.  Just ask her.  And in her recital she gets to shout "momma I'm a big girl now!!"  And shout she does.  Not just at dance practice.  She is just generally loud.  I tease that in twenty five years I'll be telling Oprah how we used to tell our world famous opera singing daughter to please stop yelling!!!!  I really do think she's could shatter a glass.  Or a brain.  Mine.

Oh I'm too tired to make this any longer.  :)

Summertime!

I don't recall loving the summer season so much even when I was a kid in school, but having the summer off now seems utterly blissful!

Little d graduated!! From Kindergarten, of course. It was a great day! I didn't even get all blubbery and cry through the three minute ceremony. I kept it together. But I am just so proud of her. She learned so much this year and accomplished so much. She became a little lady who can go hours in a new surrounding and do just fine without me.

A huge weight lifted off of me as we drove home from her graduation. The realization that we have about ten weeks of sweet freedom was amazing! No more worrying about her for hours a day. No more worrying about getting her to school on time or what she was eating for lunch or if she was going to get a stomachache from not going to the bathroom on schedule. Ahhh--sweet freedom. (Oh don't be mistaken--I still will find plenty of things to worry about.)

Things are blooming around here. Despite the lack of rain. And guess, just guess, who is potty trained?? That's right. Little m. I woke her up the first day of summer vacay (that's how those in the know say it) and said 'Guess what? It's summer time that means no more diapers! Except for night night time of course.' And she took to it no problem. And we've had very few accidents. Most of which are right in front of the toilet because she couldn't quite make it in time. So I am thrilled with this little summer development as well.

Little md is eating more solid food. He's a good chewer. I love to watch his little mouth crunch and munch! He likes cereals and graham crackers and noodles and, without a doubt, cookies! Oh and grapes (peeled and cut) and strawberries. He doesn't talk much, but he can understand so much and get his point across pretty effectively.

I personally am going to call this the Summer of My Dentist Vacation. I've discussed my teeth to death on here, so the why is obvious, but not only am I doing my periodic tooth fixin', now my daughter is doing it as well. Little d's mouth has several cavities. A couple big enough to need caps. I can't even discuss how upset I am about this. I find little consolation in the fact that the dentist said we were 'doing a good job of cleaning them.' Genetics do suck sometimes...

On a lighter note I just ordered these. How lovely are they??

I am way into heeled sandals with shorts right now. I'm letting my hair grow out. I am hooked on OPI nail polish. I am not losing weight fast enough. I want so badly to be 112 pounds again. Or 115, I'm not choosey with it. I thought that next week I would be setting up my scrapbook room, but now D is working 5 days of overtime, so...no.

You know what else...the mirrors are finally hung. It only took nine months. Thanks Dad!

Speaking of circling the drain...

Well the kids had all recovered from their pre-Spring Break ear infection/coughing junk. So I thought we would have a few weeks reprieve. And we did. Two weeks to be exact. Then the respiratory crap started again.

Little d was treated for flu after her strep and flu tests came back negative. PS Tamiflu upsets her stomach, turns out. So then we had the whole anti-nausea suppository fun as an appetizer to the dose of Tamiflu twice a day. Thankfully she stopped running fever in four days and finally started wanting to do something other than just lay quietly on the couch.

Little m had a light case of whatever it was.

But Little md. Saturday night we had to take him to the ER because he sounded so horrible. The doc diagnosed viral croup. He got a dose of oral steroid and breathing treatments. But Monday our pediatrician looked at his chest xray and said he had a touch of pneumonia. So now he's on antibiotics too. He is doing better. Still sleeping alot and not eating as much as normal, but he's fever free and his cough is no longer so deep in his chest. And no more of that horrible breathing that makes me ever so thankful my kids don't have asthma!!

Poppy is in the hospital--blood in the urine. Hopefully he'll be out before the weekend. My mom is getting over her terrible cough after a second dose of (stronger) antibiotics. She may have had a touch of pneumonia too. And me and D, pulling up the rear with irritated throats and annoying coughs.

I have decided to do a farm theme for Little md's birthday. I can hardly believe he's almost one. Just two weeks away. He's been walking for so long now, he's nearly running. I have to mention the cutest story.

He loves to dance. Bobbing his head and bending his knees in time to the music. The other night Dancing with the Stars was on and he watched intently as the professionals did their exhibition noting, apparently, the dips. Then when the singer came back on he resumed his dancing, but this time he would lean way over as if he was dipping as well. So adorable! I just love him! (Oh and today I swear he said 'moo cow'!)

Guess who's not potty trained yet?? That's right. Still a diaper girl our Little m. But also still a book reading fiend. As in "read this to me read this to me read this to me read this to me..."

Little d is doing so well in school. (You know when she's not home running fever.) She got an award for meeting her 50% goal with the AR program. I'm not even sure what that means, but she got a book to keep and was super excited! In her class they are hatching REAL! chicken eggs and about to have cocoons to watch as well. You all know my obsession with raising chickens, so I'm thrilled and quite a bit jealous that Little d gets to watch eggs hatch! A story about her... One morning we were driving to school and discussing how dirty boys bathrooms were...I don't know why...and I offered an explanation.

"You know little boys sometimes aren't very careful with where they are aiming when they pee."

She thought for a moment. "What, are they...guessing??"

A true LOL moment. "Yes maybe they are!"

On the Weight Watcher front. I have not had the time to track lately, but the last few weeks have gone something like this...0, 0, -3, +2, -1.

Off to do laundry---

Must go take care of laundry.

A rodeo!

{First let me note for weigh in Friday I broke the plateau and lost three pounds this week!!! Sweet!!}

This morning Little d had her Rodeo at school. The kids are grouped together and get to do little activities like horse shoes and barrel racing. 'Barrel racing?' You say. Yes, with her stick horse of course. That she cutely named Polka-Dot. They also got to "brand" a picture of a cow with real branding irons dipped in paint. It was such a neat day that they planned. They have been studying Texas for a couple of weeks, so this was a little hands on study of our great state.

Little m and Little md had a follow up doctor appointment for their ear infections. So we cut short our rodeo watching and took them in. Little m is terrified of the doctor. She fights every single part of it. And we've been talking to her and trying to get her to see that if she cooperates everything will go more smoothly. Like for example opening her mouth to say ahhhh so he doesn't have to put that stick in her mouth! And something finally clicked yesterday and she did! And after he checked her throat (without her gagging and nearly throwing up) I said "good job--you did it!" She got this little smile of accomplishment and I swear I saw the light bulb go off over her head.

So we went for ice cream afterwards to this spot called Dairy Treat. I think it's been around since the fifties or before. Their ice cream is so good you can write home about it. Or blog about it. Or risk an intestinal fit of dairy protest for it. Anyway, Little m chose strawberry (no surprise there she has a strawberry milk IV hooked up most of the day). And Little md got his first taste of ice cream. He kept making mmmmm--mmm noises. It was so cute! And Little m said "my belly loves this!" So I said "Is it worth a trip to the doctor to get more of this ice cream?" She tilted her head thoughtfully, wrinkled her nose and replied "Hmmm, no."

Oh well.

March Madness!

Well the past two weeks have involved three trips to the pediatrician, six ear infections, two orders for breathing treatments, three kids and a husband on antibiotics and a partridge in a pear tree!

Little d missed a week of school. This week she is on Spring Break and thankfully all the littles are getting better.

Skip ahead to me not posting for a while and now she's back to school. Spring Break is over.

I feel like we were living under a rock for a couple of weeks. The last day of d's break was the only day I let the kids outside in the rockin' wind. They flew kites and then we planted some seeds. Tomatoes, and strawberries that D got from Tractor Supply. Green beans, carrots, squash, beets and three varieties of flowers that came from Uncle T's hardware store in POC. His seeds were two years out of date so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they sprout. Although if they all come up I may have no choice but to till an actual garden...

I'm really excited at the thought of growing my own vegetables...and I don't even like beets. I also want to plant some red, yellow and orange peppers....

Speaking of vegetables: I, for the last two weigh-ins, lost zero. But the good news is I didn't gain any weight either. I think this is what they call a plateau. Which is fancy for flat. Like my chest. HA!

Little md: I think we can officially say he's a walker. Instead of walking from chair to chair, he now stands in the middle of the floor and takes off. He can pretty much traverse the room in one try. Amazing, still to see my baby learn. Even though he's number three, it's still just as miraculous to me. He's also cutting four teeth on top. Pretty much all at the same time. Crank-o-rama!

Little m: Wants me (or anyone for that matter) to read to her every waking hour of the day. And I try my hardest to oblige. She is still...my gosh still....in diapers. But with them all being sick, I didn't push it over Spring Break which was my target date.

Little d: Was so excited to go back to school...not my kid that's for sure! She has been doing so well. And she needs, as in desperately, to pull those two loose teeth in her mouth. But she is terrified of blood. She still has a crush on that boy in her class. She decided to give up talking about him for Lent. "Not thinking about him--Mom, just talking about him."

D and me. Or is it I? Anyway, we started the huge and time consuming task of cleaning out our old house so we can hopefully sell it in the next few months. Fingers crossed D gets to actually be off during his seven off instead of forced into overtime. Although we do use the money he makes on occasion...

I have decided to bloggerly track something. There are things unfinished around this new house. And there is one in particular that irks me. The mirrors are still not hung in the bathrooms. Still. We have lived in this house for 7 months. We'll see if they are hung by next Christmas. I'm not going to mention it to my husband again. :)

Weigh In Friday!

Okay hold your horses there....three pounds down! I am now a 128...woohoo!

I also wanted to add to my last "rookie mom" post, that I still feel like a rookie mom. And I'm pretty sure that feeling is never going to go away.

I'm also realizing how important this blog is to me. I need to write more because goodness knows that I'm not keeping record of anything anywhere else. I mean not just to record each and every little cuteness and milestone of the kids, but maybe if something ever happened to me...here would be my voice. For them to read about and someday learn about me. I don't mean that in a conceited way. If something ever had happened to one of my parents growing up, it would have meant the world to me to hear in their own words what they thought about everything from politics to tampons.

Soooo I'm going to try to get back into blogging. Which should be easy peasy--just like that whole 'I'm gonna walk on the treadmill everyday' idea I had in January. Here's an update. I walked on the mill twice. That's two times.

Anyway: here's what the kiddos are up too...

Little d. Picture day today--was a vision in fushia and white spring butterflies. But not sequined shoes...because even after trip number two to the store, I didn't get a size that fit. She has a little (big) crush on a boy. The same one from the beginning of the year. She's not sure if he has a crush on her. She's in girl scouts--as a Daisy. And looks so cute in her little blue vest. She (okay D and I) sold quite a few cookies this year. We had the raspberry tea Valentine's Party last Monday and it was a success.

Little m. Still in diapers. Will she ever be potty trained? She not only keeps me on my toes, she keeps me in stitches. Between her expressions and the things that come out of her mouth!

Little md. Cutting a top tooth now. And he has discovered the dance. He bops up and down with bended knees holding on with one hand and waving the other in the air. And grinning ear to ear. It may be the cutest thing you've ever seen. Sometime he sings along.

As for me. I'm still exhausted all the time. And right this second I may be coming down with a cold. Lovely. But I went out to dinner with my hot husband and then cruised through Academy. Nothing like a hot date with the hubby to perk me up. Special thanks to my parents for keeping the monkeys tonight. I am a lucky lady!

Weigh In Friday!!

Lost five pounds. I just may survive this weight watchers thing--said the lady who has been on it for one whole week...

In completely unrelated news...Little d is selling Girl Scout cookies and the Lemonades are total bliss! {and 2 points a piece}

Have a great weekend--I'm hoping to get the tree down...

We have an Advanced Reader on our hands!

Probably in response to my last post --you know where I said she was reading a little, on target for Kindergarten--Little d came home last night with a REAL library book. And now she informs me she is in the "AR Club". I don't know if all school do this or if it's a Texas thing, but it's a program where kids read books outside of class and then take tests for comprehension and get points for reading so many. I don't know all the details, but the BIG news is only a handful of Kinders were selected to start the program, and Little d is one of them.

I am so incredibly proud of her!!

Where are they now? {And an MLK tribute}

So it's probably been long enough since my last post for that title to make sense.

Little md is cutting his very first tooth. I think it's about time!! He'll be nine months in a week. It's the bottom right and I caught sight of it when D was changing his diaper last night. It's funny because people (okay-my mother in law) will always say that 'ohhhh {he}'s cutting teeth' as soon as they hit that four month old drooling period. Because it seems to me every baby starts drooling at four months, whether they are cutting teeth or not, I look for other signs. Anyway I just told my mom yesterday, I think he may actually be starting to cut a tooth. Ahh behold--he is!

He's also tooling around like nobody's business. He 'walks' along the couch. He can stand and sit on his own, and he loves making a beeline for something he's not supposed to get into. He's eating (baby) fruits and veggies and even likes (baby) ham. He's still drinking an insane amount of formula--taking three bottles during the night. Ehhh-whatareyagonnado? He'll sleep through the night when he sleeps through the night.

Little m. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--that child is hard headed. And yet to be potty trained. But I'll give her this...she knows what she wants. And if it's the pink cup after you already poured the milk into the green cup. Too damn bad for you. And she loves to change clothes. Every so often during the day she will make the proclamation "I need to change". And off she goes to dress herself. She's so tiny too. And she looks just like a little garden fairy when she runs around the house with her summer dress, bare feet and feathery hair framing her pink cheeks and impish smile.

Little d. Ahh. She's so smart. She's reading a little now--on target for kinder. She still is not a fan of school, but she comes home in a good mood and I'll take that! We had the best discussion Friday night at bedtime about race relations.

I should give you a little background. I've made it a point to not identify people as black, white, etc. I mean if I want to point out a black person on TV or something I'll say 'it's the guy in the green shirt' or something. In fact, Little d usually identifies people by their hair color. I remember watching the inauguration and Little d asked if his (Obama's) wife had already walked down the stairs and I told her yes. She said 'oh the black girl'. I said 'what do you mean?' Because I was shocked to hear her identify Mrs. Obama as black. And she said 'you know, mom, the one with the black hair.' Ah yes, that cleared it up.

Another time Little d said, 'wouldn't it be neat if we could color our skin different colors?' I asked her what she meant and she said, 'like pink or brown or something.' 'That would be cool,' I said. 'I only know one brown person,' she said. 'Who's that?' I asked. 'Pawpaw.' She said. I stifled a laugh. Pawpaw is very dark tan because he's worked outside all his life but to her I said, 'oh yeah.'

SO back to Friday night. With her being in school and this being the MLK holiday, they read a book about his life.

She said, "Mom today we read a book about King Luther or something."

"Martin Luther King?" I offered.

"Yes! That's it. Do you know him?"

"I know his story."

"Oh. Did you know he got killed? Not in the bomb, but later. Do you know how he got killed?"

"Someone shot him, right?" I said.

"Yes! He just wanted people to get along. Like the blacks and the whites." She said it like they were sports teams. She continued, "and Mrs. H knew him. Well like she heard about him when she was little. And you know mom it doesn't matter if you are a black or a white, it's about your character."

I was grinning. "Yes."

"I didn't know that there was, like a difference, like a black or a white." She looked a little confused.

"Well a long time ago people used to think if you were different, you weren't as smart or as... good." I tried to clarify.

"Yes and they had to sit in the back of the bus." She remembered more of the story.

"Yes. What does character mean?" I asked.

"It's like how you act."

Well done, Little d, well done.

So know I'm feeling all proud of myself that Little d had absolutely no idea that there would be any reason people would judge other people based on their skin color. Of course now, she thinks Pawpaw is a blackish. (Her words not mine.) I just love the innocence of childhood.

In other news, I started Weight Watchers. I have to get rid of this baby weight. Nine months is long enough!

Blogs/Veteran's Day

How can you tell I'm blogging more frequently? My titles get lame-r.

So I haven't been visiting any blogs in the last few months, because of the move, total upheaval of life, and lack of good internet connection/time. How's that for excuses? But now that things are calming down, and I have time to blog, I am trying to find all the blogs I used to have saved into my favorites. Except that my favorites are on the crashed laptop. SO I am going through past comments or just plain trying to remember the blog addresses, NOT EASY.

Hopefully I'll be able to get to some of them and from their blogs, be able to more. But to be honest I don't have the time to look at all of the ones I used to. And I guess that's okay.

Today Little d had a program at school and I was so excited to hear her sing God Bless the USA and do the sign language to go with it. But due to bad seating, I saw none of her (and as you tell from the photo, I barely grabbed a shot of her leaving the performance!). It was a moving program none the less, but I really wish I could have seen her perform. I am pretty sure the Christmas program will have better seating. Fingers crossed!

Off to sleeeeeeep!!!

ETA: the photo

This Little Life

I miss my old life a little. Okay aLot. The days where my schedule was not determined by the school district.

I should preface this post by saying that I am not looking for a pity party. I just happen to have two minutes to myself so I thought I would blog. And since I haven't been able to visit any of my favorites in so long, I'll just type a little on mine. And what I have to blog about isn't really exciting. In fact it's a little depressing.

Speaking of depressed. I think I qualify. I mean like clinically. It started with Little d starting school. That was major upheaval for me. I honestly don't know how woman can go to work and send their children to daycare. I'm not criticizing anyone, I just physically could not do it. The beginning was rough for her, but she's adjusting so well. And now she has a crush on one of those dread boys she so desperately wanted to vanish just two weeks ago.

Where was I? Oh adjusting. Well, like I said, she's doing well. I'm doing better. I still have such a rough time not being around her and knowing what's going on. Like when she's says that this one little girl called her 'nasty'. Now I have to determine the context and help her deal with it without actually being present to know what happened. I am pretty sure that this little girl thinks Little d has a crush on this boy and because of that called her 'nasty'. Hopefully in the "That's So Raven" sense. 'Just ignore her' and 'play with your other friends' was my advice when I really want to tell her to tell the little low class snot to drop dead. No not drop dead. But maybe trip...

We'll see what comes of it.

So let's set aside the school stress and discuss other things. Like snot.

Since Little d has started school, she has had four consecutive colds that have been passed to Little m. Two of which were also passed to me and D. Not sure what Little md caught. So far anything has been super mild for him--maybe due to me breastfeeding? Anyway. My children aren't sick often at all and when they get colds it seems that they also tend towards getting upset tummies. So (keep reading I dare you) I have slept most nights in one or the other's bed or on the couch or on the floor in the living room. I think grand total I have slept in my bed four times since Little d started school August 23rd. Most nights I also spend listening for coughing, vomiting or crying (especially Little m-she seems to have gotten the worst of them all).

SO worrying about kiddos and no sleep equals stress.

Now moving on to the other major stress factor right now. House. Rather, houses. We still have not cleaned out the other house and put in on the market. Which I know is just as crazy as me not sleeping in my own bed for two months. When would we have the time? D has been working non stop. We have to afford the two houses, right? And the sad part for me is that I didn't get that big moment of packing up stuff, saying goodbye to the home I brought the babies home to, and unloading the first boxes in the new house. We didn't have that 'first night in the new house' moment as a family. Instead, we snuck in praying we weren't discovered by the bank inspector with suitcases and stuff thrown together like we were running from a hurricane. And D was working nights so we didn't do it as a family. Are you depressed yet?

I guess the worst of it boils down to this doesn't feel like home. It's better than it was, but not as good as it should be. Little m still calls it 'the land'. And yesterday she cried because she wanted to go to the old house.

I'm also having a little mini-crisis of religion, but that's a whole other post. And it's not an I-don't-believe-in-God crisis. It's how much do I believe in raising my kids Catholic.

I've gotta wrap this up. So I'll leave on a bright note. I bought my first post-Little md jeans. In a size 14, but still. They weren't pregnancy jeans.

I told D I wanted things to return to normal and he said maybe this is the new normal. Well...the size 14 jeans better not be a part of the deal...

Still Here

A quick note or ten.


School is going well for Little d. And sometimes I don't even cry on the ride home...


Breastfeeding is going well for Little md (he's even had a little formula now and then and done well on it.) My 17 pound four month old.

We are officially living in our new house. And as soon as the boxes are put away...or at least hidden...I'll post pictures.

Little m has entered and mastered the "why?" stage. And I have mastered the "I don't know" and the "because I said so" stage.

Our new internet connection (via ATT cell phone) is slower than slow. We're gonna have to amend that sometime. On the subject of technology...we have our satellite set up, aaaaand we signed up for texting. Seriously! How fun is that?!?

I think I juuuust see that light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh, and I'm a room mom! Cool, right?

Birthday in a construction zone

Despite being days away from a completed house, we still have paper taped down in the hall, broken down boxes from appliances, step ladders, hammers, levels and the ever useful painter's tape scattered about.

Amid all this Little d celebrated her sixth birthday today. Labor day--just like six years ago--and she declared it the best birthday ever. God Bless the resilience of children. Her breakfast was a canned cinnamon roll with a "6" candle in it. Unlit, because there are no matches or lighters here. Shhh, I used the wall oven to cook the rolls. She pretended to blow it out, while I took pictures. A generic "Happy Birthday" banner was the backdrop---taped up with blue painter's tape.

She opened her gifts of a fashion template notebook, four barbie dresses, lip gloss and a diary. She liked them all and played with the fashion notebook and diary most of the day.

It's so hard to realize that she is already six years old. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital a week ago? Wasn't she just learning to talk yesterday? I miss those days sometimes, but I am so enjoying the young lady she is becoming. I am also enjoying how much she dislikes those "weird" boys in her class. I know that won't last either...

The Secret Life

You probably think I've fallen off the earth. And I would hesitate to disagree. Little d starting school is just part of the roller coaster. We have 'moved' into the new house. But on the sly. Technically we can't live here until the final bank inspection, so we are really "living" in the travel trailer parked in the drive way. When the inspector came out last week for the next to last draw, I just knew that one of the kids (Little m to be exact) was going to spill the beans. But it went off without a hitch.

Hopefully the paperwork will be signed next Friday and then we can officially move in. Living out of boxes and sleeping on air matresses sucks on so many levels. Especially trying to make school lunches and get kids bathed and to bed...

We can't have a TV in here, so the satellite was set up for the trailer, but that just means we haven't watched TV in two weeks. And we didn't have any internet for about a week and a half. Talk about living in the stone ages. I didn't even know there was a hurricane!

You know what else?

I've lost six pounds.

I've never in my whole life been so tired. Never.

I washed a dress for Little d's picture day in a sink with Palmolive.

Sending her to school each day feels a lot like a death in the family.

I count the minutes until I can pick her up.

She's never seen me cry about it, I save my tears for the car ride home.

I worry about fitting in with the other kinder moms.

I fear the next time I sleep on a real matress I'll fall off.

My mother in law was here every day the first week and a half and yet I killed no one.

Me and my dad work really well together...and we crack each other up.

My husband and I have successfully built a house and not gotten a divorce.

I miss blogging.

The pits

I knew the day would come when I would have to send Little d to school. And I even anticipated how rough it would be. I told D a couple of years ago that he needed to take the day off just to be there for me when I collapsed in tears after dropping her off.

Today we had the little meet and greet at her school. It's a small little country school with an awesome reputation. I instantly felt the warmth from her teacher, Mrs. H. And there is another mother there that I see a potential bond with. Though I could only nod and smile when she spoke to me, so close was I to tears.

I have been seconds from tears for the last two days. Last night my brother called to say that if we needed to spend the night in his new house we could instead of staying in our travel trailer at the land. I couldn't even speak I was so choked up. We are hopefully less than two weeks from being able to move into our house, but I was so not wanting to be "camping" during Little d's first weeks of school.

Everything feels upsidedown right now. My house is a mess, my body is a mess, my hair is a mess, my state of mind is a mess. I have never been this disorganized in my whole life. I just wanted Little d to start school and have the transition be smooth as silk. But I don't see how that can be possible.

I should just focus on the positives. She is going to a great school. She is super excited about it. Her teacher seems like just the type of person that you want to be your kindergarten teacher. She even had a little goodie bag at each kid's spot.

But I still have this yucky feeling of dispair in the pit of my stomach. It's a mix of not being with her every second of the day combined with she's going out into the big bad world without me.

I'm praying she loves school so much she never cries not to go...because then I just may have to look into that whole homeschooling thing...

School Shopping

Maybe I should just do little mini blog posts every night when I give the girls a bath?


This past week I managed to go school clothes shopping with Little d. I somehow managed to get home with several cute interchangeable outfits. Little d had blast. I was exhausted. Who knew it would be so tiring? I swear. I remember having so much fun shopping for school clothes with my mom. Now I'm wondering if she was that exhausted when we were done?

While we were shopping I was thinking (during the brief moments when I wasn't thinking about being so frumpy and out of touch) that these clothes were never gonna match up. But then when we got home and laid them all out, whatdya know? They were actually really cute and they were interchangeable. I still need to get her some more shirts and some plain denim shorts, but other than that it was a pretty successful trip.

Meanwhile. I'm having these panic attacks. Have I done a huge disservice to my daughter by not exposing her to more experiences? Will school be too much of a shock? Will she hate the fact that she has to wear shoes all day? I mean seriously, we are pretty much homebodies around here who do what we want when we want.

I keep trying to tell myself that I never went to preschool and I did okay. Actually, I hated school. All 12 years of it. And had I gone to preschool I would have hated all 13 years of it.

But Little d is different than me. She loves going places. She likes being around other kids. I'm hoping this will translate into her loving school. I am hoping beyond hope that she gets one of those good kindergarden teachers. The kind who loves kids and who knows just what to do to make them feel comfortable in school.

I realize that over the last few weeks I've been more and more stressed. And the more things I am stressing over, the more overwhelming they all seem together. I also am realizing that I haven't been praying lately.

So perhaps it's time to turn things over to God.

Drywall and babies and tiles, oh my!

Here's the updates I haven't been updating:

Little md: growing like a weed. He is so precious. He grins and coos and is more often than not a calm happy roly poly baby. I am so thankful we were blessed to have him join our herd. He is the easiest baby to breastfeed in the world. He only nurses for about ten minutes, usually every three hours. He already loves his big sisters and watches everything they do intently. The other night I cried a little to realize how fast the time has gone and how fast it will continue to pass us by. Before long I will be baking his first birthday cake in my new kitchen and wonder where the last year went...or I will be pulling my hair out over the latest Little m stubborn streak and wondering how to get crayon out of carpet...either way--the future promises to be an adventure.

The girlies: Gosh they are precious too. Little d is so smart. I know she is going to do so well in school. Ahhh. Kindergarten. I am having the worst panics about sending her away most of the day. What ever will I do without my constant little companion? Both girls are still testing their limits. I am still finding myself at wit's end. But I know that things will work out. I just have to be consistant. Little m has such a personality. I wish I could capture everything she does on video. She now has an imaginary friend....Lisa.

Today they were pretty well behaved. The reason?

Little Miss Perfect: We ( my mom and I) are keeping her while my sis in law goes to work. She works part time and so on wednesdays and some fridays, we get to keep her. She is a precious precious girl. So tiny and perfect. And you should just see her tiny perfect mouth. And the little fingernails...ahhh I could go on and on. It's so funny to learn her little habits. I am just thrilled that we get to spend the time with her. And Little d is such a great helper. She spent all day entertaining both babies.

The hacienda: We are getting drywall up. So excited about that! I still need to decide on the texture pattern. Did you even know that was a decision to be made? Sheesh. The details are endless! I've also chosen the countertops in the kitchen and tile for the bathroom...I think. But I am still on mission to find a subway tile for the backsplash in the kitchen to match the countertops. Oh and paint. We may be starting to paint as early as next week and I still haven't chosen the interior colors.

A word about the tile. I have been on the record several times saying that I will never have tile in my house ever! But then I saw this tile. And I fell in love with it. I am not even a fan of blue, but now I want this seaglass stuff in our master bathroom. Click on the link above and you can enlarge the picture.

And since that site is sooo chock full of beautiful tile. I fell in love with this to use behind the stove and vent hood.

Oh who knows? I seem to be on a tile binge!

Off to get the girls out of the bath. Someday maybe I'll write an actual entertaining post. Or except my award...

Chaos

Someday I will look back on this time in my life and maybe think "things sure were easy then." But here in the present its a little not easy, in fact maybe I'd go so far as to say chaotic. Before I get to the details let me first say I have the most blessed life I could imagine. I have a wonderful husband, three whole and healthy children and we are building our dream home.

Prior to Little md's birth things were verging on the out of control. House in shambles. (No I'm not tossing that word around loosely.) Kids on a schedule that defies gravity. Behavior that needed to be checked.

Now that he's arrived, it's been multiplied. I keep thinking, "when we get to the new house it will all fall into place." Well, some of it will. Just by the nature of the house being 1000 square feet bigger, and all on one level, some organization will happen naturally. I mean my kitchen size will double, so therefore, all of the bottles and sippy cups and bread and bags of chips won't have to sit on top of a counter. And the office will be just down the hall from the garage where we will usually enter the house, which means mail can be handled there...not on the kitchen island, counter...floor (yes it's that bad.) And there will be a bench/cubby area at the back door for shoes, purses, backpacks (gulp-that's just around the corner) and keys.

And somewhere in the back of my sleep-deprived befuddled mind I seem to remember an adjustment period for Little d when Little m was born in the behavior department. It's as if she took out her frustration of having to share the spotlight on me, not the new baby. And I am truly thankful for that. I don't have to block books being thrown at the baby's head, I just have to put kids in timeout...alot. Today Little d was in special form. She was in timeout several times and got three spankings. Talk about testing limits. Then tonight when bathtime hit, Little m threw such a fit that I only washed her hair and the top half of her and then dragged her kicking dripping body out and got her dressed.

So I'm hoping after the post-new baby adjustment wears off, we'll see something that resembles order again. But Little md is 8 weeks old. How long of an adjustment do you suppose it will take?

The good news. My kids are well behaved in public.

And speaking of the world outside these four walls...that house we're building? When will it ever be done? I get so annoyed that D spends all his time off from his job-job working on the house. And it's not his fault. If he doesn't work on the house, how will it get finished? Answer--it won't. And when he's not working at his job-job or working on the house, he's working overtime to make extra money to pay for that house. See? Can't fault him for that either. But where does it leave me--resentful, restless, and for that matter sleepless.

On the subject of sleepless: We are both exhausted. He is running himself silly from place to place and I am nursing a newborn and trying to reign in two heathen monkeys. I am starting to think this tunnel doesn't have a light at the end. {No, that's not a post partum depression sentence.} I've started practicing visualization. Soooo not like me. But I have. When things get particularly hairy, I picture something in the new house. A wall of a new paint color. A cabinet pull. The front door. Anything to distract me from the crazy.

Sometimes it works. And sometimes I sit at the computer and type a blog post. Which may take three days to write. Like this one. PS I'm over double checking and editing for a while. Please excuse the typos. And misspelled words.

Funny Remote Story (or two)

Everybody has one of those right?

First I should explain that we have three TVs in our house. One in the living room. One in the office/guest/completely trashed room. And one in our bedroom. We also have Dish Network, so we have two remotes that control the dish. One is for our bedroom and the other controls both other TVs. Make sense?

So the TV in the office also has a seperate remote that controls On/Off and volume.

I just realized that I actually have two funny remote stories...bonus for you.

Anyway. Tonight Little m wanted to watch Disney in the office (we were finishing up bath time) and the dish remote was downstairs in the living room. I told her that she had to watch was Dad was watching downstairs and then left the room to get Little d out of the tub. I was drying Little d off in the office (hey don't question our routine-it works) when Little m comes running in the room yelling Hannah Montana and waving the dish remote in her hand. She had gone down and stolen the remote from D (who was sleeping in the recliner) and came back upstairs. I don't know why, but this struck me as extremely funny.

Okay my other remote story. A while back--maybe last year, I was up in the office--probably scrapbooking. {Sigh. I miss that a little.} When I decided I wanted the TV on. So I looked for the remote and couldn't find it. I yelled downstairs to ask if anyone knew where the remote was. Little d in all seriousness said "mom, there's this button on the front of the TV and if you push it, it turns the TV on."

Oh and then while I was typing this post, this happened...



But it was worth it.



And this is my other little poser.



Mwah!!!