This Old House

So the other day I went to our old house.  (Which is a misnomer because it is technically only 12 years old.)  Anyway.  We still own the house and my cousin and his wife are renting it from us, they might buy it in a year or so, but they are doing repair work and paint stuff, so even if they decide not to buy, but move somewhere else, we will have an improved property to sell.  Win-win.

Anyway again.  I had a Home Gathering for CTMH there and my cousin in law gave me a tour.  It is beautiful.  Her daughter asked if it was weird coming and seeing it changed and I said no because it looks so different.  It doesn't feel like our house.  I was really happy to see it.

It was also funny because when we moved into it, the first thing we did was paint the master bedroom.  I choose a medium grey to match the bedding set we had.  I know, rookie mistake.  But I did want it dark so my lovely husband could sleep in there when he worked nights.  You know, to keep the room darker during the day.  Well.  I didn't mind the darkness of it, but it never quite matched the bedding and within two years we bought a king size bed and of course no longer used the bedding.  But the new bedding I picked was brown with palm trees.  Really it's not quite as bad as it sounds.

The intent was to paint the walls chocolate brown eventually.

Did I mention in our current house we still need to paint the interior doors?  Yeah, we never got around to changing that bedroom color.

But cool thing is my cousin in law said "yeah and we loved this blue color in the bedroom so we didn't change it..."

Huh.

Blue?

Guess that's why I never liked it with the grey and tan bedding....

Politics, Shall We?

Oh my is anyone else terrified of Obama's second term??

I really think this is it.  The end of America's story.  I recently watched that film 2016.  The writer talks about how he used to read about the great empires of the past, their rise and fall.  And it was eerie because I remember reading about them as a student as well.  And thinking, how long can America last?  Well, is this the answer.  Now?

It's spooky.  I see people on FB a lot talking politics.  I see the news media.  I even have family members.  That all think that things are just peachy.  That Obama has made the world a better place.  Gas prices sky high?  Killing of embassy ambassadors?  Unrest all around the globe?  47% of Americans receiving food stamps??  This is better?

Or is this just what things looked like at the end of the 1970s?  Please God I pray that we see a turn around. I pray the media is skewing the poll numbers and that most Americans (at least the 53% that are not on food stamps) are going to vote for Romney.

Meanwhile I sit in the red state of Texas with my fingers crossed.

The mother in law post

I've had a bit of a breakthrough.  Within myself.

An epiphany.  Thank you Jesus.

My in-laws recently came into some money.  As in 'up from the ground Texas tea' or however the hillbilly song goes.  And it made her (if this was even possible) more obnoxious.  She made EVERY single conversation about money.  And how much they had and how they were going to 'take care of themselves first and then take care of the grandkids'.  That is a direct quote.  By the way...what does one say to that?  Thank you?  I understand?  No problem?  Have a nice cruise?  I nodded awkwardly.  (shrug)

Then in an amazingly awkward turn of events she gave me a check.  She actually had tears in her eyes and I can say I had no idea what to do.  It's as if she was trying to buy all the horrible things she had ever said or done out of my memory.  I tried to tell her I couldn't accept it, and then I thanked her when she insisted.  Saying it was too much.  Oh my never have I been in such a socially weird position.

So the other day my dad and I were talking about that moment and he thought that she was trying to make things right in her own way.  I thought she was still faking it.  Mostly to impress D.

That's not the epiphany.

So when I finally logged back onto facebook this weekend (head above water) I saw a prayer she re-posted.  It was called The Knots Prayer.  HERE's a link to what it looks like.  It was something she had reposted, but I read it anyway

It was the end that got me.  "especially the thought that I am not good enough"  Epiphany.

I knew that she never got along with her mother.  Never felt like her mother treated her equally--and still doesn't.  But now it just hit me that that is why she is so abrasive and controlling.  She is trying to compensate for a lifetime of not feeling good enough.   It suddenly all makes perfect sense.  I actually cried because I felt so sorry for her.  I've been so blessed to not only be treated like a perfect gift from God by my parents and grandparents, but to also have close friends and a brother I have been able to confide in my whole life.  And now I still have them rooting for me.  Plus I have a husband and three beautiful kids...I got girls and a boy.  She never had a little girl.  I don't know--maybe that has nothing to do with it, but it's like I finally see all the pieces falling into place.

And even if I didn't have those things to lean on, I have a very strong faith in prayer and God.  I don't know what she believes.  I mean I know she believes in God and prayer, but does she really know how to pray or feel God's presence in her heart??

So now that I'll be framing all her crap differently in my head lol maybe my life we'll be a little easier.  Or at least maybe I'll just start praying for her more.  Because to be perfectly honest, she was a little low on my prayer list....

Little d turned eight

and we had to cancel her party.

Sigh.  The good news is that all the kids are healthy!  I however, not so much.

Here I am again holed up in the bedroom.  This time with what I assume was a stomach virus.  I started feeling crappy Thursday evening, and ran 102.8 on Friday.  I thought it would be over quickly, but today is Monday and even though I am able to eat, I still feel yucky sometimes and run fever off and on.

Saturday was supposed to be Little d's Monster High party.  Cancelled of course.  Boo and Hiss.

Little d is just flourishing.  I can't believe that she's doing so well with the start of school.  She now gets dropped off in the drop off lane, I don't walk her to the door of her class.  She isn't sad about missing me.  She loves her teacher and she has one of her two best friends in her class.  The other second grade is right next door with a connecting room, so they interact a lot and she gets to see her other very best friend during the day.  I am just thrilled with it.  I can't believe that she's already eight.

They say time flies and before you know it they will be all grown up, but it's not something you can grasp until it happens to you.  She's just getting so big.  So tall.  Long hair.  Sweet smiles, shy looks.  I want to just stop time...for all of them.  I want to preserve her innocence.  I know that right around the corner is the part where she learns about the birds and the bees.  She'll learn about bad people on the world and corruption and all the junk that will take over her thoughts of fairies and Santa and the latest tunes on Radio Disney.  And I wish I could just stop time now so she stays right here.

Okay I do look forward to the conversations we'll have when she's an adult.  But I'd totally be okay with freezing time right now.

Uhg.  I hate being holed up in the bedroom.  At least I think I'm on the end of this thing.

On another note I think my husband paid me a compliment about how well organized I keep things.  I think.  Something about missing me and not feeling like he could do everything.  I'll pretend it was a well thought out compliment to my domestic awesomeness.

On an even other note.  My mom is the true domestic awesome.  Without her, truly this house would fall apart. And me too.