Chaos

Someday I will look back on this time in my life and maybe think "things sure were easy then." But here in the present its a little not easy, in fact maybe I'd go so far as to say chaotic. Before I get to the details let me first say I have the most blessed life I could imagine. I have a wonderful husband, three whole and healthy children and we are building our dream home.

Prior to Little md's birth things were verging on the out of control. House in shambles. (No I'm not tossing that word around loosely.) Kids on a schedule that defies gravity. Behavior that needed to be checked.

Now that he's arrived, it's been multiplied. I keep thinking, "when we get to the new house it will all fall into place." Well, some of it will. Just by the nature of the house being 1000 square feet bigger, and all on one level, some organization will happen naturally. I mean my kitchen size will double, so therefore, all of the bottles and sippy cups and bread and bags of chips won't have to sit on top of a counter. And the office will be just down the hall from the garage where we will usually enter the house, which means mail can be handled there...not on the kitchen island, counter...floor (yes it's that bad.) And there will be a bench/cubby area at the back door for shoes, purses, backpacks (gulp-that's just around the corner) and keys.

And somewhere in the back of my sleep-deprived befuddled mind I seem to remember an adjustment period for Little d when Little m was born in the behavior department. It's as if she took out her frustration of having to share the spotlight on me, not the new baby. And I am truly thankful for that. I don't have to block books being thrown at the baby's head, I just have to put kids in timeout...alot. Today Little d was in special form. She was in timeout several times and got three spankings. Talk about testing limits. Then tonight when bathtime hit, Little m threw such a fit that I only washed her hair and the top half of her and then dragged her kicking dripping body out and got her dressed.

So I'm hoping after the post-new baby adjustment wears off, we'll see something that resembles order again. But Little md is 8 weeks old. How long of an adjustment do you suppose it will take?

The good news. My kids are well behaved in public.

And speaking of the world outside these four walls...that house we're building? When will it ever be done? I get so annoyed that D spends all his time off from his job-job working on the house. And it's not his fault. If he doesn't work on the house, how will it get finished? Answer--it won't. And when he's not working at his job-job or working on the house, he's working overtime to make extra money to pay for that house. See? Can't fault him for that either. But where does it leave me--resentful, restless, and for that matter sleepless.

On the subject of sleepless: We are both exhausted. He is running himself silly from place to place and I am nursing a newborn and trying to reign in two heathen monkeys. I am starting to think this tunnel doesn't have a light at the end. {No, that's not a post partum depression sentence.} I've started practicing visualization. Soooo not like me. But I have. When things get particularly hairy, I picture something in the new house. A wall of a new paint color. A cabinet pull. The front door. Anything to distract me from the crazy.

Sometimes it works. And sometimes I sit at the computer and type a blog post. Which may take three days to write. Like this one. PS I'm over double checking and editing for a while. Please excuse the typos. And misspelled words.