The pits

I knew the day would come when I would have to send Little d to school. And I even anticipated how rough it would be. I told D a couple of years ago that he needed to take the day off just to be there for me when I collapsed in tears after dropping her off.

Today we had the little meet and greet at her school. It's a small little country school with an awesome reputation. I instantly felt the warmth from her teacher, Mrs. H. And there is another mother there that I see a potential bond with. Though I could only nod and smile when she spoke to me, so close was I to tears.

I have been seconds from tears for the last two days. Last night my brother called to say that if we needed to spend the night in his new house we could instead of staying in our travel trailer at the land. I couldn't even speak I was so choked up. We are hopefully less than two weeks from being able to move into our house, but I was so not wanting to be "camping" during Little d's first weeks of school.

Everything feels upsidedown right now. My house is a mess, my body is a mess, my hair is a mess, my state of mind is a mess. I have never been this disorganized in my whole life. I just wanted Little d to start school and have the transition be smooth as silk. But I don't see how that can be possible.

I should just focus on the positives. She is going to a great school. She is super excited about it. Her teacher seems like just the type of person that you want to be your kindergarten teacher. She even had a little goodie bag at each kid's spot.

But I still have this yucky feeling of dispair in the pit of my stomach. It's a mix of not being with her every second of the day combined with she's going out into the big bad world without me.

I'm praying she loves school so much she never cries not to go...because then I just may have to look into that whole homeschooling thing...