This Little Life

I miss my old life a little. Okay aLot. The days where my schedule was not determined by the school district.

I should preface this post by saying that I am not looking for a pity party. I just happen to have two minutes to myself so I thought I would blog. And since I haven't been able to visit any of my favorites in so long, I'll just type a little on mine. And what I have to blog about isn't really exciting. In fact it's a little depressing.

Speaking of depressed. I think I qualify. I mean like clinically. It started with Little d starting school. That was major upheaval for me. I honestly don't know how woman can go to work and send their children to daycare. I'm not criticizing anyone, I just physically could not do it. The beginning was rough for her, but she's adjusting so well. And now she has a crush on one of those dread boys she so desperately wanted to vanish just two weeks ago.

Where was I? Oh adjusting. Well, like I said, she's doing well. I'm doing better. I still have such a rough time not being around her and knowing what's going on. Like when she's says that this one little girl called her 'nasty'. Now I have to determine the context and help her deal with it without actually being present to know what happened. I am pretty sure that this little girl thinks Little d has a crush on this boy and because of that called her 'nasty'. Hopefully in the "That's So Raven" sense. 'Just ignore her' and 'play with your other friends' was my advice when I really want to tell her to tell the little low class snot to drop dead. No not drop dead. But maybe trip...

We'll see what comes of it.

So let's set aside the school stress and discuss other things. Like snot.

Since Little d has started school, she has had four consecutive colds that have been passed to Little m. Two of which were also passed to me and D. Not sure what Little md caught. So far anything has been super mild for him--maybe due to me breastfeeding? Anyway. My children aren't sick often at all and when they get colds it seems that they also tend towards getting upset tummies. So (keep reading I dare you) I have slept most nights in one or the other's bed or on the couch or on the floor in the living room. I think grand total I have slept in my bed four times since Little d started school August 23rd. Most nights I also spend listening for coughing, vomiting or crying (especially Little m-she seems to have gotten the worst of them all).

SO worrying about kiddos and no sleep equals stress.

Now moving on to the other major stress factor right now. House. Rather, houses. We still have not cleaned out the other house and put in on the market. Which I know is just as crazy as me not sleeping in my own bed for two months. When would we have the time? D has been working non stop. We have to afford the two houses, right? And the sad part for me is that I didn't get that big moment of packing up stuff, saying goodbye to the home I brought the babies home to, and unloading the first boxes in the new house. We didn't have that 'first night in the new house' moment as a family. Instead, we snuck in praying we weren't discovered by the bank inspector with suitcases and stuff thrown together like we were running from a hurricane. And D was working nights so we didn't do it as a family. Are you depressed yet?

I guess the worst of it boils down to this doesn't feel like home. It's better than it was, but not as good as it should be. Little m still calls it 'the land'. And yesterday she cried because she wanted to go to the old house.

I'm also having a little mini-crisis of religion, but that's a whole other post. And it's not an I-don't-believe-in-God crisis. It's how much do I believe in raising my kids Catholic.

I've gotta wrap this up. So I'll leave on a bright note. I bought my first post-Little md jeans. In a size 14, but still. They weren't pregnancy jeans.

I told D I wanted things to return to normal and he said maybe this is the new normal. Well...the size 14 jeans better not be a part of the deal...