He's here...

He's absolutely perfect.

He was my hardest delivery by far.

I'm trying my darndest to recover, so here's a quick picture...

Hopefully this week I'll get to his amazing birth story! My 8 lb, 5 oz baby boy!

Anyone have a cure for PUPP? Just started a steriod today--praying to God it works. I've never been so miserable.

It's 2am, I must be lonely....

Do you know that song? Oh well--

Just hopped (hahaha hop hahahaha) out of the shower and sitting here about to go to the hospital for the induction. Didn't sleep at all. The boy decided to do amazing acrobatic feats and keep me up. Probably won't update here until we get back home...

Say a little prayer for me....

You know that song, right?

No baby yet...thank you doc on call.

Tuesday night I started having contractions really late. About midnight. So around 3am they were getting a little stronger and I was a little nervous--never having starting labor on my own before. We made the decision to go to the hospital and get checked.

They put the monitors on me and yeah! I heard his cute little heartbeat. The contractions were not painful and coming from four to seven minutes. This was the most regular they had been thus far. But she checked me (painful) and found I was still only 2cm. Same as what my doc said on Monday.

SO she called the on call doc. And he decided to order a shot to stop my contractions. Yes. I don't know why. Apparently it won't stop your contractions if you are really in labor. The part that is irritating is knowing that my doc would have either monitored me for a little longer, or started me on something to get my contractions stronger (since he already offered to induce me on Tuesday.) But anyway, after the shot my contractions spaced out and after an hour she checked me again (painful) and discovered that there was no change.

SO they sent me home. And I've had little to no contractions since. So I guess I'll be going in for my regularly scheduled induction tomorrow. PS I am so freaking miserable. I have an ugly red rash on my belly and the itching has driving me to near insanity, my nose is chronically stuffed up, my muscles are aching like I've done too many situps. Oh and the place where she gave me that damn shot hurts like a bruise. Which means I don't even want D giving me a back rub because he might hit it. And my body temp is on the fritz. Either I am cold, or sweating. ??What is that all about??

On a lighter note, I appreciate the comments and well wishes. They do brighten my day. And I am truly excited to meet this little guy--and I know the memory of all this misery will fade with time. Which is why I am writing it down!! :)

Nervous Nellie

That's me. I just got back from the doc's office. First my BP was high, 148 over something. The nurse took me right back and had me lay on my left side for a minute or two and then took it again....100/50. So I'm good she said.

Turns out I'm about two centimeters dilated and starting to thin out. Hmm. Guess those two contractions I had in the middle of the night Saturday did something. At this rate I only need eight more to be done right? HAA! So after deliberating and what not I'm scheduled to be induced Friday, provided Little md doesn't make his appearance sooner.

I can't tell you how nervous I am. I have never before been dilated prior to being induced. And this is the third one. What if it happens really fast? What if my water actually breaks on it's own?? What if, what if, what if? I do have my hospital bag packed at least. And the baby's bag. But really the house is a disaster area. D cancelled his out of town training for the next two days based on the doc's recommendation, but he will still have to go to work. And that's at least forty five minutes away.

What if this scratchy irritated throat turns out to be more than a little allergy irritation? Deep breath. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Oh and what is with the itchy belly?? Seriously it's like a bad case of poison ivy. I know it was bad when I was preggo with Little d, and I had a bit of it with Little m, but this time--and just here lately--it's insane!

Enough complaining! He'll be here by the end of the week!! Now let's just hope he's not born on Earth day...

Sometimes it seems that bad, but it's not.

A rough week to say the least.

For starters, Grandma's death took me by surprise. I can't believe I've lost two grandparents in as many months. Her funeral on Friday was beautiful. They had to move it to a church in a neighboring town because the POC parish was too small. That was a little sad because that was the church she went to every Saturday. Her funeral mass was attended by 19 priests and officiated by the bishop. The firstborn grandchild (this included me) of each her 14 children carried a rose during the presentation of gifts.

There is something incredibly comforting in the ceremony of Mass. The chanting of the priests in Latin. The smell of incense. The sprinkling of Holy water. The bells ringing. I breathed it all in. I think one of the hardest parts is to watch the grief of my father. I've seen my father get tears in his eyes many times--almost always involving his grandkids. But only twice in my life have I seen him truly cry. Once at my grandfather's funeral and once at Grandma's. The other hardest part will come at the next holiday gathering that does not include Grandma.

We are plugging along with life--washing baby clothes, nursing bras, blankets. Tomorrow I have another doc appointment. Early this morning I shopped with D for things to pack in the hospital bag.

During the middle of last week I was having a truly horrible day. No sleep and a headache that lasted from the time I opened my eyes in the morning until the time I fell asleep that night. But once when I was taking some laundry out of the dryer, both girls came in to help. I realized that life is okay. Even when things seem that bad, they really aren't. The important life affirming things are still there.

Grandma Hawes

How do you sum up someones life in a blog post? You don't. So I'm not going to try. So I'll just say a few words.

She was a faithful devoted wife and a mom of 14. She leaves behind a legacy of love that spans generations. And she will be missed.

She passed away Sunday night--we received the call shortly after my last post. It was a shock. Yes, she just had major surgery at age 89, but she also was amazing the docs with her progress and was coming to the hometown hospital this week.

I am comforted to know that she will see my grandpa after being apart from him for about 30 years.

Tractor and Roses

Today my dad graciously mowed our backyard. D has been working every single day either at his job-job or on the house. Not a single day off. About a week ago after work one night he mowed the front yard just so, you know, we wouldn't get turned into the city or something. But the back well, it was scary. The weeds were so tall they were like up to my armpits. Or I guess they would have been if I had been brave enough to venture out there...

My dad hauled his tractor up here to mow. (Um, yeah, I told you it was bad. I should have taken a before picture.) Anyway. Both of the girls were beyond excited to get a chance to ride on Pawpaw's tractor. Who do you think in this pic is having more fun?



He let them steer. Of course this was all done after he was completely finished mowing. He left one patch of wildflowers so they could pick flowers.

In other news I have this rose bush in the front, that is completely wild. I mean that I didn't put it there. There used to be a white rose tree in the spot, but a couple of windy storms and perhaps a neighborhood kid or two and it didn't survive. But then here in it's place is this red rose bush. And it is covered in roses.



I mean there is hardly space between the roses.



And they are just beautiful!

Thanks for stopping by!

To sleep, per chance to dream...

or however that quote goes.


Sleep, or lack thereof, has been a factor in my life forever. When I was little I sharply remember being terrified of sleep. I hated trying to go to sleep. My mom thinks it stems from her telling me right before or during my grandfather's (open casket) funeral that 'he looks like he's sleeping'. So I wouldn't be afraid to see him. I was about five. I guess it had the opposite effect because after that it seemed I had bad dreams and couldn't sleep well at all. Although to be fair to her--I never slept well as a baby either.


As an older child I remember hating to fall asleep and I think it had something to do with not wanting to loose control. I am (I have since analyzed myself) a control freak. Never ever been drunk or even had a buzz, never taken a mind-altering drug that wasn't expressly ordered by a doctor/dentist. I simply never wanted to be out of control of my faculties. May have made me a boring date, but no embarrassing or dangerous close calls here.


Fast forward to my first pregnancy. While preggo with Little d I had the usual end of pregnancy sleep trouble. Getting up to pee, stuffy nose, having to sit up to change positions. But nothing too serious. Really? That pregnancy was a walk in the proverbial park. And I heard rumors that when you have a newborn you loose alot of sleep. And all that sleeplessness "prepares" you for having a newborn.


Not even close.


No. I really mean not. even. close.


Little d would not sleep for longer than 10 minutes without someone holding her. I am not exaggerating. Well except that usually it was only about 5 minutes. We tried swaddling, we tried different people laying her down, we tried different location. Clothes, temperature, sound, light. We tried it all. I had {stupidly} said prior to her arrival 'I will not have a kid sleeping in my bed...' Don't cha love how God makes us eat our words?


At four months my dad said 'Meredith, why don't you just try and see if she will sleep in the bed with you?' Guess what? After one night of sleeping beside me on my arm, she did it. She slept in the bed beside me only waking twice for feedings. God bless my dad. And God bless my husband and mom for sharing duties during those hellish sleepless times.


So I finally began speaking in coherent sentences again and even NOT falling asleep standing up. Yes that can really happen if you are sleep deprived enough. It all taught me something new though: suddenly I could sleep at any time any where. Dark or light, quiet or loud. TV on or off. Didn't matter. See, prior to this I had to have perfection to sleep. TV on, or at the very least a lamp or hall light. I had to be in the right mood for sleep. I had to be able to clear my head.

After Little d was born, for the first time in my life, I could fall asleep within five minutes. For the first time in my life. Ironic, right? The time I finally learned to appreciate sleep and it was the same time it became so elusive. OH and around this time I {stupidly} said something to the effect of "no matter what it takes, our next baby will not be held while sleeping!" (yes you can laugh at this)


By the time Little d was two she was pretty much sleeping in her own bed and through the night. If she woke up, she was able to find her pah pah (pacifier) and go back to sleep. The transition from our bed to hers was effortless, despite my fear. And even at three when she "broke" her last pah pah and we had to throw it away, she did very well. She missed it occasionally and once woke up saying "there's something missing...in my mouth." Life became normal again. I even started watching TV to fall asleep at night.


Then Little m was born. I thought I was in some kind of dream. I mean for starters, her delivery had been so easy I didn't even need painkillers. Wait--I mean for the recovery. For the delivery I totally had an epidural! So coming home from the hospital, after having her sleep in the bassinet by my bed for two to four hours at a time, I thought this is the perfect baby. She slept for hours on her own. Anywhere. And I felt actually human. But things started getting tricky when she refused to take a bottle of any sort, or a pacifier. And you realize of course who the pacifier was, right? So until she was one year old, I was up at least three times a night, nursing or pacifying. It was exhausting. Physically and mentally. I just wanted a full night of sleep. It was probably the reason I suffered four (4!) bouts of mastitis. Oh and to make it interesting, around 4-7 months old she went through a spell of not sleeping without being held--again eating those words...

But again, we survived. Now she sleeps mostly in her bed. And mostly through the night.

Still. Sleep is not easy around here. Little m still gets rocked to sleep. And that is really hard for me. I can't carry her easily anymore. And I for sure I can't carry her up the stairs. For naps, when I'm here alone, I just deposit her on the couch. She is very attached to me right now. I know this is her realizing that change is coming. And that makes me nervous for what will happen when I am again the nurser/pacifier of a newborn. {Fingers crossed he takes a bottle and pacifier if need be because I {stupidly} have made the comment that "our next baby will take a bottle or pacifier--no matter what"}

And Little d has started being afraid of being alone anywhere in the house. She still sleeps in her bed on her own, but she is afraid of having bad dreams and this translates to her waking during the night and needing reassurance--even if she hasn't had a scary dream.

And is seems that both girls have developed a sixth sense to know when D leaves for work in the morning at 4am and they soon migrate to my bed. Which wouldn't be a big deal at all, if I had slept well up until that point. But with the heartburn, difficulty breathing, peeing, painful hips and back...blah blah blah, I'm not.

So here we are. Waiting to see what happens with this next one. There will be adjustments, without a doubt. And there is a good possibility I will be eating something I've said at one point. But we will survive. Most importantly--we will survive as a family.

Shabby Tea Room Week #4

I missed the last one, but this week--after two sittings--I finally made a card for this week's Shabby Tea Room challenge..."Embrace the White"



Here's what I came up with. This silhouette stamp reminds me so much of me and my brother when we were little. I swear this could have been us from the shape of his head to my pigtails.

To stamp the main image I sponged the colors on the stamp to give a soft, aged look. And that little bow/tie thing I've seen all over the internet and surprisingly--it's not hard to do. Especially if my assistant (Little d) holds the ribbon for me!



I really want to do something along these lines for the baby's announcement, but I will have to keep it simple since I need 50 of them. I love the idea of a vintage cream card with a little hint of blue and a baby boy silhouette.

By the way, CTMH's Veranda paper is one of my favorites ever. So beautiful! Thanks for stopping by!



Details: all CTMH unless noted
Paper: vanilla cream cs, Veranda B&T
Ink: Juniper, Desert Sand, Creme Brulee
Stamps: Buttoned Together, November Word Puzzle, silhouette (from HL)
Other: creme brulee ribbon, white hemp, sponge dauber, edge distressor, button(stash)

My ring is here...

Love it love it love it! And wouldn't you know, I seem to have like NO swelling the past three days. Oh well, I'm still wearing it! :)

T minus three weeks

I had my 37 week checkup today. My BP was 114/72. And my weight was 161. Doc says everything looks perfect. I opted out of the optional internal exam. He checked around on my belly and said "he's very low in the pelvis". Yep, my thoughts exactly. Well, not exactly, I think he's more in the region of my knees... Then he says "if you go into labor tonight that would be fine." Yep, again I agree. Although having a professional tell me that he thinks this kid is good to go is quite a relief.

I washed up some blue newborn clothes last night and my nursing bras. And that's about all the progress I've made thus far to prepare for his arrival. I must work harder this week. I am really starting to look pretty pathetic. I don't know that I've ever carried a baby this low before and it literally feels like I can't walk properly.

D is working on stuff at the house this week. He really needs to finish up the siding as soon as possible. His parents are out there now helping him and tomorrow, my dad and his dad will both be helping.

Grandma Hawes continues to do well. She is on a clear liquid diet and sitting for short periods out of bed.

I think I may just get off here and go find something to organize...

Easter Weekend 2010

A nice relaxing weekend. Saturday night we dyed Easter eggs. The girls were so very excited to dye eggs.



It only took about three seconds...



Then they couldn't wait to crack into them and try them.



It was decided by both Little m...



and Little d...



that they are not fans of boiled eggs.

And then Sunday after receiving Easter gifts of crafts and Littlest Pet Shop toys we went out to the land to hunt eggs in Hugh and Lindsay's house.



They had so much fun.


I didn't get many good pictures, but it was so cute. Little m got the hang of hunting eggs very quickly. She would spot one and make a fast beeline for it. Little d was so cute she would find an egg and say "Look!! {Little m} Here's one for you!" She is such a good big sister!

Then they had fun hiding eggs for some of the grownups to find. And a special thank you to my sis-in-law for making such a great Easter egg hunt!

Grandma Hawes Update: She's making great progress and amazing all around her. Today she had the intubation tube out and wanted to watch the news. God continues to bless my family every day!

Diamoniques are a girl's best friend...

Not only are my ankles swollen, but so are my fingers. SO I can't wear my wedding band anymore. This makes me too sad, so look what I just ordered myself...

It won't let me post the picture, so here's the link...


http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.J25139.cc.000.cm_scid.crt/walk.yah.0000

I know, I should be posting Easter pics...and I will, but isn't this so pretty? I was so excited I just wanted to share...

It should be here this week...hope it doesn't look too fake in real life HA!

A few things I've learned about being the mom of three...

even if one of them is still in utero!


It may be a tight squeeze, but they will all fit on your lap.


Da-da coming home may not solve all the world's problems, but it does solve the most pressing ones.


Even thirty minutes of Disney channel will not afford you a peaceful nap.


If you aren't doing laundry often enough and run out of washclothes, chances are you aren't doing dishes either, so you can use a dishcloth in a pinch.


Speaking of dishes...they can be used just as effectively right out of the dishwasher.


Screaming really loudly will make all three jump at the same time.


Embrace your memory loss. It is now a part of who you are.


Any occasion to eat chocolate is a good occasion indeed.


Something about having three kids will make you forever mix up your kids' names.


Shopping--even with two kids at home--is an Olympic sport. I'm thinking pole vaulting...


You will, by this point, have seen hundreds of pregnant twelve year olds at your OBs office.


The hungrier you are (and with three kids you will be getting really hungry) the more likely your kids will be to stop doing whatever was keeping them occupied and ask for something to eat.

Most of the time a good portion of your brain will be thinking of one or more of your children.

It's worth it.

It's worth it.

It's worth it.

I'm not repeating that mantra three times to convince myself. I'm repeating it three times because three kids means it's three times as worth it.

Flower Girls

Tuesday, when we last went to the land (can't wait to just say, 'when we went home') I took a few pics of the girls. And our first ever Bluebonnet--the state flower of Texas.

Now this little Bluebonnet picture is not the best because I was not about to get on my knees and take the closeup.

Maybe someday our yard will look like this!

Ahhh. I can dream.



Here's Little d holding a little yellow wildflower...

Here's Little m, posing as usual!

In other news:



Grandma is scheduled for surgery today at 1:30. I kind of like that's it's on Good Friday. That's the day I had my biopsy surgery.



I am miserably pregnant. I've never been this way before. I've never--yes you read that right!--never had swollen ankles before in pregnancy. I have trouble standing up from a sitting position because my lower stomach muscles and lower back hurt and have to get stretched out again. Yesterday I did shopping for Lin's baby shower and for this new baby and for the girls' Easter gifts...wow. Waddle waddle waddle!



I feel like this baby could come at any minute. But of course I am sure this is not the case. I sometimes wonder if I have just gained too much weight this time ( I'm currently at 160) or if it's just my age (35), or if it's trying to take care of two kids at the same time. Oh well. In any event I only have a few weeks left.

I told my husband yesterday that I have become one of those pregnant women. You know, the kind that bitch and moan the whole last trimester. Well I guess I got to experience that before my baby making days are over. :)

Have a happy Easter weekend y'all!!