Resting in peace

Last night Memaw passed away.

My mom and I had spent the entire afternoon visiting four different nursing homes. And we couldn't pick one. None of them were good enough. There was nothing particularly wrong with the ones we visited. Nothing that screamed 'not here'. None of them had private rooms. And I guess in reality they all were screaming...not here.

Then last night as we were talking (D, Mom and I) Mom's cell phone rang. I picked it up and saw the hospital's number and handed it to mom. It happened peacefully the nurse said. I took Mom up there. Mom was comforted by how peaceful Memaw looked, and she did.

I was comforted by the fact that Memaw's presence was gone. And I know how much better she is now. I remember as a small child how much she looked forward to heaven--to being with God. She had that kind of faith.

We are all, including Poppy, so very thankful that she didn't have to go into a nursing home.

I may decide to write a longer post about her life and influence on me, or I may just include it randomly and naturally as this blog goes on. I don't feel moved to write it now, it's not something I need to process now.

Right now I am just thankful for family, faith, and friends. I am thankful for the ties that bind us together and the memories that warm us. I am thankful for the kindness of strangers from nurses to funeral home directors. I am blessed to receive condolences and well wishes and prayers and to in turn pray for my grandfather who is still in such a painful grieving place right now.

I am thankful for the laughter and smiles that surround us even in loss. For the innocence of Little d's questions and thoughts on death. In fact I'll close with her bedtime conversation with me last night.

"Mom, when you die do the angels come and get you?"

"Yes sweetie, I think they do. But I think the person who dies is the only one who can see them."

A thoughtful pause.

"Mom, when I die, you can see my angels."

Sweet girl...you are one of my angels.